The Hug

In the guidelines for teacher’s that I’ve referenced before, under Impairment in Social Interaction of those with Asperger’s Syndrome, it states that a person with Asperger’s “may not like physical contact.”  This certainly describes Aaron.  Actually, Aaron enjoys physical contact that involves him whacking someone on the back, or giving irritating pinches………..things along that line. 

When it comes to sweet hugs, Aaron has always struggled with that.  When he was little, he would back up to us to give us a goodnight hug.  It was pretty funny and very unique.  Gary’s mother used to get such a kick out of her goodnight hugs to Aaron.  I can’t say goodnight hugs FROM Aaron because he was completely uninvolved in the hugging process.  He backed up, stood there, and if you wanted a hug you had to do it quickly.  Very heartfelt, you know?

Last night I started feeling puny, like I’m fighting the flu.  I was chilling and achy, and just generally felt yucky.  At 8:30 I told Aaron that I was sorry we couldn’t play Skip-Bo or do anything else, and that I was going to bed.  First I sat at my desk to do a few things and Aaron came in our bedroom, standing by the desk and of course, talking.  I’m not sick very often and it’s something that he usually either feels uncomfortable with or could care less about.  Usually the latter, honestly.

So imagine my complete surprise when he took a step towards me, out of the blue, and put his arm around my shoulders.  I was expecting a pinch or a rough jab, which he thinks is very funny, but instead he was gentle and sweet.  Then he laid his cheek on top of my head as he kept his arm around my shoulder!!!!

A hug??!!  A tender moment that Aaron initiated??!!  A show of concern for someone other than himself, especially for good old Mom??!!

Why, I wouldn’t have been more surprised if Aaron had…………..well, if he had…………..blown his nose!!!!

It was over in an instant.  I waited a minute so as not to embarrass him, and then very calmly said, “Aaron, that hug was very sweet.  Thank you!”  He heard what I said and I know it registered, but he kept on talking about what dirty bombs are………yes, he did…………and the movie he’s watching that has a dirty bomb and what are dirty bombs and who uses dirty bombs and do I want to watch the dirty bomb movie with him sometime.

That sweet moment will warm me for a long time, even though not five minutes later when I went to his room to set out his clothes for the next day he gave me a swift whack on my rear. 

Oh well.  I still feel the love……..I know I wasn’t dreaming.  He really did hug me very sweetly. 

I should get sick more often. 

Author: Patty hesaidwhatks

I'm Patty and I write about our adult son who has Epilepsy and Autism, who still lives with my husband and me, and who is a package full of many surprises and joys and challenges and TALK! Lots of talking, which creates laughter and some other reactions as well. I also write about how God shows Himself to me in everyday life.

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