Category: Asperger’s Syndrome

I Don’t Know. I Don’t Know. I Don’t Know.

I haven’t written much lately.  The inspiration to write comes and goes.  Time constraints……..other obligations…………..burdens and concerns that sap my motivation………….feeling like there is really nothing new to say.  Yet with Aaron, there is always something to say, whether it’s exactly new or not.  How that son of ours loves to talk!  Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in his words, many spoken in his monotone voice that can lull me into a zombie state in no time.  For instance, Star Wars Commando Republic…….oh my goodness, if I could only fully describe his focus on this particular game right now. 

He has been playing Star Wars Commando Republic on his computer over the past several weeks.  And talking about it, over and over and over and over.  I don’t understand the game………I don’t know the various players………..I can’t distinguish between the good guys and the bad guys…….and furthermore, I truly don’t care.  But this game is Aaron’s particular focus right now and so I hear about the game – I hear about the various players – I hear about the good guys and the bad guys……..constantly…….whether I care or not.

“Mom, did you know that the Transdoshans……….?”  And off he goes, while I mentally am a million miles removed from Transdoshans.  Then I hear Aaron saying, “Right, Mom?”  And he waits for my answer.  There often is none.  So the question is repeated and I end up usually giving a profound answer, such as, “I don’t know, Aaron.”  Which only gives Aaron the go-ahead to repeat all that he just said about Transdoshans for his rather slow mother. 

Sometimes I get creative and instead of saying, “I don’t know, Aaron,” I will say, “I’m not sure, Aaron,” and the result is the same………..Aaron educates me once again about the subject of Transdoshans or Advisors or Geonosians  or whatever it is he calls all those various characters.  Other times I say, “Well, Aaron, you’re the one who has played this game and knows all about the characters, so I’m sure you know the answer much better than I do.”  And yes, he does know the answer better than I do, so he proceeds to share it with me in his monotone voice that again sends me into outer space with my fellow Transdoshans, floating in a mental no-man’s land.

He came downstairs this morning as I sat at the computer, thinking that maybe I would write a little.  He wasn’t thumping down the stairs in his usual loud way, but coming slowly and as quietly as he can be.  He was trying to “scare” me, so I played along and gave a fake gasp as he walked over and touched my shoulder.  He laughed and then launched immediately into how he went to bed early and how he slept well and how he got to such-and-such a level on Star Wars Republic Commando………..and I knew I was trapped.  Before I was able to herd him upstairs toward the bathroom and his shower, I had looked up a video of Star Wars Republic Commando and observed the Advisor and had dissected everything about the Advisor…….how he talks, why he looks like a ghost, what his job is, why he advises, what he advises about, and how he advises using headphones, and on and on and on………..zzzzzzzzzz.

Aaron even knows that player 40 or 4.0………I don’t know………is an expert on “slicing into computers.”   Player 62 is an expert in fighting.   Player 07 is an expert on shooting.  And I know that Player Aaron is an expert on all things related to Star Wars Republic Commando and that he wants his mom to be an expert, also, but this is not happening.  None of this computes in this brain of mine, and so Aaron continues to instruct his mom and repeat all this information to his mom and talk, talk, talk, talk to his mom………and his mom still says, “Uh, I don’t know, Aaron.” 

Last week, on Tuesday, I ordered what we thought was the cheat code/guidebook for Star Wars Republic Commando off of Amazon.  This was after looking for it on many web sites……….many, many web sites.  Eureka!!  We found it!  Then I knew, as Aaron hovered over my shoulder to make sure that I ordered the book, what his next question would be.  There are some things that I do know.  And yes, Aaron asked, as I pressed the “submit order” button, “Mom, when will the book come in the mail?” 

I answered, “It will probably come sometime next week.”  Aaron grabbed on to the word “week” and since I ordered the book on Tuesday, Aaron said, “So the guidebook will come next week on Tuesday?”  So I had to explain that by saying “week,” I didn’t necessarily mean a literal week from the day it was ordered……….that saying “next week” means any day during that next week……….not just a literal week of 7 days.  But Aaron was in the same comatose state as I tried to explain about “week” as I am in when he tries to explain Transdoshans.
 
Every single day since I ordered the book, and many times during every single one of those days, Aaron would ask, “Mom, is that guidebook coming on Tuesday?”  And every single day that Aaron would ask that same question, I would answer the same way every single time, “Aaron, I don’t know.”  It was futile to explain the literal week concept again………..except that it did cause Aaron to be quiet for a short period of time.

One day he said, “I can’t wait til that guidebook comes.  That’s not my fault that I can’t wait!”  No, Aaron, it’s not your fault.  And don’t you know, the guidebook finally arrived……….on Monday!  Not even exactly a week from the day it was ordered, but thankfully he didn’t really even care about that confusion.  He was very happy to have his book………and I was very happy to not hear the questions over and over every single day about when the book would arrive. 

The staff at his day group is also hearing all about Star Wars Republic Commando.  He came home yesterday carrying some cheat codes that Barb had found for him on her computer.  She had printed them out and he was happy as he could be.  I’m thankful that Aaron is surrounded by people who understand him, and help him, and make sure that his life is happy.

He will continue to expound on Star Wars Republic Commando and I will continue to say, “Uh, I don’t know,” and he will continue to try to help his clueless mom understand all the ins and outs of this favorite game of his.  But I do know that I understand Aaron and I can explain Aaron at least to some degree. 

And I know that I love Aaron, even with all his quirky ways and his obsessions that drive me into oblivion.  I better run upstairs now and finish getting ready…………and finish listening to more about Star Wars Republic Commando before I wave goodbye to Aaron for the day and leave the listening to other tired ears for a few hours.

I wonder if they know any more than I do about Transdoshans or Geonosians?     

One In A Million

I was enjoying the peace of this early Saturday morning, finishing up listening to an on-line sermon by my brother, when I heard Aaron coming rather softly down the stairs.  Doing anything softly is unusual for Aaron.  I held up my index finger, signaling for Aaron to be quiet – something else unusual for Aaron to do – but he surprised me by not speaking………for at least several seconds.  He stood there scratching instead until I made my “yuck face” and he stopped.  He actually let me finish the last few minutes of the sermon without interrupting too much, but once he heard Uncle John pray he knew that he was now allowed to be center stage. 

We said our good mornings…….well, I said good morning while Aaron launched right into using all of his stored-up words.  You know, Aaron even talks in his sleep – seriously, he does.  But it’s not nearly enough to use all the words that clamor around in his brain, so he wakes up raring to talk.  After giving him some options, he decided that he wanted cinnamon toast for breakfast.  I told him to go take a shower while I fixed his toast.  I nearly always set out Aaron’s clothes the night before, and I set them out because Aaron is color blind………as well as being totally clueless about anything remotely to do with the coordination of clothing.  However, last night I did not set out his clothes, so when I told him to shower, he replied, “Mom, you didn’t pick out my clothes!  I can’t come out of the shower NAKED!!” 

Well, Aaron, you SHOULD come out of the shower naked.  It’s coming out of the bathroom naked that I don’t want to see.  But I kept this thought to myself as he and I went upstairs. I  picked out his clothes while he got a pair of his new underwear.  Just before he went in his bathroom to shower, he walked into my room and said, “Mom, you got me light pink underwear, right?” 

Uh……no, Aaron.   So out of his pocket he pulled a pair of his new blue underwear.  I laughed as I told him that they were blue, and I was reminded of how he sees blue as being pink………….just like Granddaddy!  And I was glad to clear up the issue of pink versus blue, as I know that he would end up telling everyone at his day group that Mom bought him pink underwear!

After his shower, he marched into the kitchen to see if his toast was ready.  “Mom!  During my shower, I got soap in my eye.  How long will it stay until the hurtness goes away?”  But he forgot all about his eye as he dug into his cinnamon toast.  He did, though, realize that he should explain why he was still shirtless. 

“Mom, I’m waiting for my underarm to cool out a little before I put on my deodorant.”  OK, Aaron………..makes perfect sense to me.

As he began to eat, he started talking about what he had read about in his Handy Science Answer Book.  “Mom, that day before last night, I was reading about dinosaurs!  What is this million kind of thing?”

I was still trying to figure out exactly when the “day before last night” occurred………..so I asked him if he meant Thursday night, and he said yes.  Somehow it’s easier for Aaron to refer to it as “that day before last night.”  And as usual, I chuckle while he barges on ahead with his talking, oblivious to how intricate his wording is.  I knew where this was headed and I was right.  Evolution vs. Creationism.  Aaron knows the truth, but he still likes to ask.  “Mom?  What is this million kind of thing?”  So we discuss the possible age of the earth, and what the Bible says, before he veered off into woolly mammoths and who the cavemen might have been and did they wear woolly mammoth furs and wasn’t it scratchy and smelly and “OH MOM!  Can you look up the Tarantula movie on your tablet?”

So we looked up the Tarantula movie trailer on YouTube.  It’s an old movie from 1955 that Aaron found at Wal-Mart, and is the next on his list of Movies That Aaron Wants.  The trailer was hilarious……….with the nuclear genetically modified tarantula wreaking havoc on mankind and womankind.  Splashed across the screen in scary writing was “The Towering Fury No One Can Control.”  EEEKKKKK!!!!!   Except that Aaron was a combination of breathless excitement and laughter as he watched the enormous tarantula attacking anything and anyone in its path.

“Mom!!!  See its biters??!!”  Yes, Aaron……….such huge biters! 

“So Mom!!  Nuclear energetic is something that makes things huge?!”   It must be, Aaron. 

“And Mom!!  They can’t even blow him up!!”  I noticed that, Aaron.

“Mom!  See??  The electricity doesn’t even hurt him!”  Amazing, Aaron.

Then suddenly Aaron switched to quicksand.  Yes, as quick as anything, Aaron was talking about quicksand.  That’s why you would have found us looking up quicksand on Wickipedia, and then quicksand videos on YouTube……….which Aaron loved far more than just reading words.  Seeing people sink in quicksand was too cool!  He clomped downstairs to tell Gary all about how to extricate himself from quicksand in case Gary ever found himself in that predicament. 

So our morning went, as I ended up with his headphones on my ears listening to the cool music on his Star Wars game and trying to explain it to Aaron.  Believe me when I say this………..Aaron. Notices. Everything. 
From light pink underwear to woolly mammoths to genetically altered tarantulas to millions of years………..nothing escapes his attention and his lengthy commentaries.
 
He knows we don’t agree with millions of years, but we do agree that our Aaron is one in a million for sure.

The Marathon

Yesterday Aaron woke up very tired………or so he said.  I finally agreed to let him stay home, but he did not get his keyboard all day.  That meant no computer games at all.  He could watch movies but not play games.  I was gone to my PT appointment for a short time, and then later to my mother’s prayer group.  Other than that, I was home all day.  Home with Aaron.  Home with Aaron and no keyboard.  I love Aaron, but it was exhausting.  Part of it may have been my mood……..I was just a little tired myself, and thinking of too many things to be able to enjoy Aaron’s non-stop talking.  Seriously………for almost the entire day, he followed me everywhere.  I did not want to talk about the Predator/Alien computer game that he wants us to let him have.  I did not want to talk about the Airbender movie.  I did not want to talk about what he had read in his Handy Science Answer Book.  I did not want to talk about forensics.  I did not want to talk about Cheetos.  I could go on and on, but it makes me tired again.  By the time bedtime rolled around, I was very thankful to pull the covers up and have a reprieve…….after two good night hugs and several, “Wait!  Mom!  Mom??  I wanted to tell you one more thing!!”  I was brushing my teeth when I heard him outside our bedroom door.  “Mom!  Mom!  Mom?  Mom?”  I opened the door, hoping he didn’t see my gritted teeth, and he gave me one more big, warm goodnight hug.  That brought on the guilt, but I was too tired to really be affected much at that point. 

This morning, refreshed and with rested ears, I was in the kitchen when Aaron thumped down the stairs to find me.  He came into the kitchen and with bright eyes and a lilting voice, he said, “Mom!  I’m not tired at all!  I went to bed early!  10:59!”  I smiled at the exact time that he mentioned.  Dear Aaron!  How can he be so precise in the matter of numbers, but so clueless as to the feelings that he should have been able to see displayed so clearly the day before all over his mother’s tired face? 

We had a pleasant morning.  Aaron wanted once again to stop at Dillon’s for more jelly beans like we did a couple days earlier.  As we drove to meet his group, he was full of talk about the Titanic……..because he’s watching the Titanic movie, so this is his latest topic.  Why did the smokestack break?  Why was there an iceberg?  Was there metal in the ship?  What is that dancing place on the ship?  Why were they using Morse code?  What is Morse code?  Do we use Morse code now?  Granddaddy knew Morse code?!  He was so intent in expounding upon the Titanic that I was hoping he wouldn’t notice that we drove right by Dillon’s.  But not Aaron!  “Mom, was there metal in the Titanic?  Aren’t we stopping at Dillon’s?”  I told him that we didn’t have time this morning for Dillon’s, and so he continued with his Titanic monologue.

We pulled up beside the Paradigm van, and as Aaron got out I handed him some Jolly Ranchers to take to Paradigm.  This reminded him of the fact that I hadn’t gotten him the jelly beans………and he got angry.  He yanked the bag out of my hand and slammed the van door…….but not before calling me a name.  Then another name, and another……..each one a little worse than the one before.  No cursing, but just mean old rudeness nonetheless.  I so wish that Aaron could verbalize his feelings without acting like a spoiled 4 year old.  Cody, his driver, was frustrated.  I was, too, and embarrassed.  This afternoon, Aaron called and launched right into his thoughts about a game he wants……..but I called his attention immediately to what had occurred this morning.

“Mom, I said I’m sorry!”  I reminded him that he had not.  “Well, I feel better now!”  And I reminded him that I did not.  “Well, when I got here today I was thinking in my mind that I’m sorry.”  I told him that this didn’t help me at all……….and he said he was sorry, but I never really know if he is truly sorry or if he’s just wanting to put that chapter to rest. 

I saw an article in our newspaper today with the headline – Caregiving is a Marathon.  I thought of my day yesterday with Aaron.  He was happy but being with him all day was so tiring for me.  Then today………..he ended up angry and rude, which caused a different kind of tiredness for me.  I’ve always thought of caregiving as involving the physical care of an aging or sick family member.  But seeing that headline made me realize that caregiving is what Gary and I do day after day for our Aaron.  We are still responsible for most of his care, much as we did when he was a small child.  We love him so much and we want to care for him, but it does take a toll.  I in no way mean to sound like I’m whining or wanting sympathy.  These are just facts.

And I think of all the moms and dads that we know who are in similar, or much more serious, situations as we are.  Those with little or no help, who are stretched financially……physically……emotionally…..spiritually.  I think of the doctor appointments, the hope of a new plan or a new treatment that is slow in coming or may never be found.  I think of the effect on siblings of having a special needs brother or sister, and the many ways that this impacts their family.  I think of how hard it is to go anywhere…….to church, a movie, shopping, eating out, a vacation.   
It really is a marathon, but we don’t get much if any time to train for this one.  We often hit the ground running, trying to adjust to all the twists and turns of life with our special child.  We find ourselves winded and stretched beyond what we think we can possibly accomplish.  But then we see a smile on our child’s face…….a light in their eye……….a joke on their lips……….delight at the touch of a hand or a brush of their lips.  Or of our lips as we kiss them goodnight……if they allow it!……….or as we say, “I love you.”

They may not respond, but we know that they know they are loved.  Through all the ups and downs, the tears and the laughter, the tantrums and the sweetness……..there is love.  We run the marathon, not knowing where the finish line even is or if we can possibly make it.  But with God’s strength, and with the support and the care of our family and friends, we will make it.

We’ll run the race that God has set before us.  One day at a time……..one hug at a time……one “I’m sorry” at a time.

Mom! Don’t You Want a Door?!

This evening after supper our door bell rang.  Gary was way out back taking Jackson on a stroll around the yard.  I was just finishing up in the kitchen, and Aaron was with me – talking, as usual.  Aaron made a bee line for the front door as I hustled along behind him, telling him to not open the door; to let me get it; and to HUSH!  I glanced out the window and saw a cute young lady standing there with her hand full of door hangers.  Oh no!  A solicitor.  As if that isn’t bad enough, a solicitor showing up while Aaron is home. 

You see, I’ve had my fair share of experiences with Aaron and salesmen who show up at our front door.  I shooed him away, but I had no sooner opened the door and said hello than I heard Aaron coming up behind me.  This is a familiar routine when a salesman comes to our door.  Aaron and I are about the same height, so as I move to the right in order to block his view he moves to the left.  Then as I move to the left he scoots to the right.  It’s as if we have a choreographed greeting going on because I’m trying to smile and say hello as normally as possible, all the while knowing that Aaron is bobbing his head around either my right or left shoulder.  He’s dying to know who is at the door and what do they want and what are they selling and will Mom buy something?  After all, it just might be cookies or popcorn!! 

This soft spoken young lady was telling me about Anderson windows and siding and doors.  By now Aaron was standing on the stairs right inside our front door.  This gave him the advantage of being able to see over and beyond me no matter which way I moved.  But the disadvantage was that he was now farther away from the action, which always makes him worry that he’ll miss something important.  Therefore, he asks, “Mom?!  What does she want?”  I motion for him to hush even as I’m trying to listen to what she is saying.  She tries to continue her sales talk even as she’s trying to figure Aaron out.  He can be very distracting, you know. 

I was relieved to be able to tell her that we were currently in the process of re-siding our house, and that our windows are fairly new.  That left the subject of doors, but I had the out of mentioning the siding expense that would prevent us from doing another big project.  Then Aaron blurted, “Mom!  Don’t you want a door?!”  More motioning from me, which Aaron completely ignored, and another smile from this puzzled young lady.  She mentioned that each door was $200 off, and so I thanked her as I made a move to end the conversation.  But Aaron wasn’t through.  He had seen, as he stood on the stairs and looked over my head, that this sales lady held some fliers and had even already hung one on our door handle.  Not to be deterred, Aaron now yelled, “MOM?!  DON’T YOU WANT TO TAKE THAT PAPER??!!”  

For crying out loud, Aaron, why don’t you just ask if the Anderson company will hire YOU to pass out the fliers?  Of course, I was compelled to take the advertisement.  The nice young lady smiled broadly and Aaron clomped off to the kitchen, satisfied that Mom had taken the flier and now all was well. 

Like I said, Aaron delights in these salesman visits.  Because of him, I have bought popcorn and cookies and coupon books and some cleaning sprays.  There he stands behind me, head bobbing over each of my shoulders as he tries to see what wonderful item is being pitched.  “Mom!  Get some popcorn!”   “Mom!  Don’t you want some cookies?”  “Mom!  Are you getting a coupon book?!”

 I remember the summer afternoon that the cleaning spray guy came to the door.  I thought that maybe, just perhaps, Aaron hadn’t heard the doorbell.  No such luck, I realized, as I heard him thumping down the stairs behind me.  Soon his head was bouncing from side to side as we did our little dance. He was enthralled as he saw the salesman spray our storm door window and wipe it clean with his handy cloth.  Wow!  This was even better than popcorn and cookies!  I put my foot down when the man turned to head toward our van, spray bottle ready in order to show me how amazingly he could clean the spots on the paint.  I told him no, even as Aaron blurted out, “Mom!  Let him spray our van!!”  I gave Aaron a look that would have immobilized any other person…………but not Aaron, of course.  The salesman began to direct his pitch to Aaron, and our bobbing dance went up a notch.  I was so relieved to finally close our door…….the one with the little clean circle on the dusty glass…………..and talk to Aaron’s back as he thumped back up the stairs about NOT interrupting when someone came to the door.

The young college student selling books was also a favorite of Aaron’s.  He was very interested in all the books that she quickly told me about before I could even interject a no.  She asked if she could come in and show us some of the books, and as I did finally say no, Aaron interrupted.  “Mom!  Let her show us the books!”  I wanted to throttle Aaron as I stood there with a forced smile on my face………….a smile that I hoped was hiding my true intentions toward my son at that moment.  “Mom!  Don’t you want some books?”  Somehow I got out of that predicament, even though Aaron talked for days about how I wouldn’t let that nice girl show us some books. 

Don’t even ask me how much fun it is when Aaron opens the living room doors while I’m distracted and lets Jackson out.  Dealing with a 175 pound Great Dane PLUS a very loud son who wants to buy whatever is being sold is just more of a good time than I deserve.  Trust me.  It is.

I’ve about decided to put up a No Soliciting sign.  Why doesn’t someone come to the door selling one of those?  Then I would let Aaron buy one……….maybe even two!  That would make us both very happy!     

I Was Creeped!

The time change certainly caught up with Aaron today.  He was sound asleep when I finally went in his room to wake him up this morning.  Pillow marks were all over one side of his face, and he was struggling to open his eyes.  I think a lot of people could relate to Aaron on this Monday morning of Daylight Savings Time.  I was surprised that he wasn’t irritated with me for telling him that it was time to get up and get ready for his day.  But when I returned to his room a couple times, and found him still sleeping, his mood began to change…….and not for the better.   He informed me in no uncertain terms that he was tired, that he did not want to get out of bed, and that he most definitely did NOT want to hurry!

I went into de-escalation mode before he fully escalated.  That means that I didn’t harp on him to rush, rush, rush…….but I did tell him that I had poured his coffee and I asked him if some cinnamon toast sounded good.  Sometimes these incentives work far, far better than to nag or to display anger.  I could hear even in Aaron’s voice that such was the case today.  He was relieved and all too happy to say yes to the coffee and the toast.  But he still refused to come anywhere near the concept of “hurry.”  I left him at the table while I took Jackson, who doesn’t need to eat the cinnamon toast that I knew Aaron would feed him, up to my room with me while I finished getting ready.  It wasn’t long before Aaron had eaten his breakfast and came to my room to talk to me………and to ask if we could stop at Dillon’s on our way to meet his group.

Now I knew that the reason Aaron wanted to stop at Dillon’s would involve food, and more specifically, I imagined it involved candy.  He has been without candy for days, and now that we know he is not Diabetic, I was fully expecting this request to come at any time.  I told him that I wasn’t sure if we had time to stop at Dillon’s, especially since he didn’t want to hurry……..when suddenly the idea of hurrying became very appealing to Aaron.  It wasn’t long at all before Aaron was almost ready to leave.  He finished putting his shoes on in my room as he confirmed once again that we were going to Dillon’s, and I confirmed to him that we were not going to go overboard on buying candy.  Of course he agreed, and soon we were in the van.

Aaron shivered on this cold yet sunny morning as he buckled his seat belt.  He commented on how cold it was and I agreed.  He continued, “Mom, when will it quit being cold?”  I told him that it would be warm later in the week.  “When?” he asked.  And I repeated that later in the week it would warm up. 

“Mom, quit saying week!” he declared.  “What DAY is it going to get warm?!”

How could I be so silly?  Of course, literal and specific Aaron wanted to know the exact day that it would get warm.  None of this nebulous “week” business would fully answer his question.  I picked a day and told him and he was satisfied.  How could I forget his simple rules for living?  Pick a day and be done with it!

Soon Aaron was in candy heaven at Dillon’s.  He and I scanned the shelves for his favorite Starburst Jelly Beans, but they were not to be found.  Then I remembered that they were probably on the Easter aisle.  Aaron was disappointed at this point, and was skeptical that his jelly beans would be on the Easter aisle instead of the regular candy aisle where they always are………but there they were!  Stacks of Starburst Jelly Beans were right there amongst all the other Easter candy.  He agreed that one bag was plenty, and soon we both left Dillon’s, happy with our find and with each other.

As we drove to meet Cody, Aaron commented that the rash under his arms was better.  I had looked at it earlier and was also very glad to see that it was healing.  The blisters have dried up and disappeared, leaving dead skin in their place.  This has not gone unnoticed by Aaron, of course.  “Mom!  My skin is coming off!  I was creeped!!”

I assured him that this was natural and normal anytime that a blister was healing.  He was happy to hear this news, but continued, “When I looked at my skin, it creeped me off!!” 

Well, don’t be creeped off, Aaron.  You’re healing and you’re going to be just fine.

But he moved quickly on from being creeped off to being quite excited as he informed me of his progress.   “Mom!  I can lift my underarm now!!”

Wow, Aaron!  You can lift your underarm now?  That’s……….amazing!

We were now at the Paradigm van and Aaron, as always, rolled down his window while Cody rolled his down.  And as always, Aaron didn’t say hello or how are you or anything else personal.  It was, “Hey, Cody!  My skin under my arm is coming off!”

Yes, yes, Aaron………the whole world wants to hear that the skin under your arm is coming off.  Cody laughed because he gets Aaron, and I laughed because I get Aaron………and I’m happy that Cody gets Aaron and so does the other staff at Paradigm.  Aaron held on tightly to his bag of candy as he got out of the van, and I wondered if he would share it or keep it all for himself.

Despite the juggling act of keeping Aaron level and happy, I’m thankful for this morning that we got to share together.  Simple, yet complex, this mind of our autistic Aaron.  As colorful as the jelly beans that he clutched so tightly. 

Aaron does color our world with his unique personality and expressions.  Life might be quieter and simpler without Aaron………..but it would also be dull and bland. 

I love all the colors of Aaron!  And I’m so happy that he can now lift his underarm!

The Scare

This has been a fairly stressful week in several ways.  You may have read my last blog about Aaron’s hilarious doctor visit.  It was hilarious because of Aaron’s actions and because of his responses to the questions that he was asked.  However, it was not hilarious in the sense that he had us worried for awhile………and our concern still isn’t completely gone.  Aaron has some symptoms that have troubled us for awhile.  Then he developed a rash under his arms.  This is why I took him to the doctor on Monday, but I also discussed his other issues with the PA and the doctor.  They decided to check him for Diabetes.  I was shocked and alarmed.  I hadn’t put two and two together, but this diagnosis did indeed seem like a real possibility.

After my early surgeon appointment on Tuesday morning, I rushed home to get Aaron and take him down to the lab at the air base.  He was to have some fasting blood work done.  Aaron had cooperated very well with not eating, which isn’t always easy for him.  He does love his food!  As we drove away from the house, Aaron had settled himself in the passenger seat, buckled his seat belt, and then asked about putting in a CD.  “Do you have that cowboy lady and that man?” he asked.  It’s amusing, or maybe alarming, that I know exactly what he’s talking about.  We put in the correct CD with the cowboy lady (now THAT should be alarming!!) and Aaron proceeded to begin his talking.  First thing was food – “Mom, when I went to Applebees on Saturday I had raspberry tea!”  I asked him if he liked it and he said, “Yes!  It tasted weird!”  Only Aaron would say that he liked something that tasted weird, and only Aaron would look at me like I was weird when I laughed.

Aaron continued his usual monologue as we drove to the air base, finally ending as we pulled into the parking lot with, “Mom, I saw a state trooper one day.  So state troopers control the whole state?”  I briefly tried to explain, but was happy to tell Aaron that we would talk about it later………because we always do………..and that it was time to go in to the lab.  Aaron was seen right away, and as he sat in the chair, he proceeded to say something to the lab tech about not hurting his arm.  He was referring to the rash under his arm, but she thought he meant something about his veins.  Seeing her confusion, Aaron decided to take his shirt off, which he loves to do in order to show off his rash.  I stepped in to tell Aaron to leave his shirt on, and by now the tech was very concerned.  I briefly explained while she decided to look at Aaron’s other arm, which made him want to show her the rash under THAT arm…………good grief!  He was going to take his shirt off AGAIN when I firmly told him to leave the shirt ON!!  I reminded Aaron that he knows the blood work routine and to leave his shirt alone and to let them draw blood………but as I left the small room, another tech stood off to Aaron’s other side……….either to intervene if something else crazy happened or to yank Aaron’s shirt down if he started to disrobe again.  Dear Aaron.  He is so oblivious to the confusion that he often leaves in his wake.  He just happily sits there and wonders why no one wants to see his rash!

Aaron’s PA had told me the day before that the results of this blood work should be ready by Tuesday afternoon.  I waited for her phone call that day, but it never came.  I waited all day Wednesday, but still no call.  On Thursday, I called and left a message with her office, asking her to please call with the results………and still no call all that day.  By then, I was fighting several emotions……….worry and anger being most pronounced.  I was angry that we weren’t being informed quickly of Aaron’s results.  And this delay only gave my worry more time to build.  I prayed often during the day and I reminded myself of the principles I know about NOT worrying……….but when it comes to Aaron’s health and the possibility of a new diagnosis, that gnawing worm of worry was trying to eat its way into my heart.  Worry and anger……….and in the midst of all this, I was having several imaginary conversations with the PA concerning their total lack of caring!  Certainly none of this was helping, so I transferred my conversations to the Lord and asked for His peace and for good test results……….and talked to friends and family about this need and our desires for their prayers as well. 

Another emotion I was dealing with was guilt.  If Aaron had Diabetes, surely I was largely to blame.  I didn’t control his eating like I should, though I tried………but not hard enough.  Why hadn’t I read the signs?  Why did I let him eat candy?  How could I have been so blind?  And then there was blame.  Why didn’t the PA last year tell me that Aaron’s blood sugars were up………although that blood test was not a fasting test.  Still, why wasn’t it mentioned?  Why did his autism doctor ignore my concerns about his weight loss and vision issues?  Yes, I felt that there was plenty of blame to go around. 

And how on earth would we control Aaron’s eating when he wasn’t at home?  Bless him, he does love his food!  I thought of the day last week when he burst in the door after his day with Paradigm and I heard him yell, “Hey!  I came home now!”  I laughed as he tromped downstairs to tell me all about his day.  “Mom!  We went to Popeyes!!”  I asked him what he had and he answered, “That number 8 meal!  You know what that is?” 

It always makes me laugh when he thinks that I should know the content of the meal numbers at all the fast food restaurants.  I assured him that I did not know what a Popeyes number 8 meal was, and he was all too happy to tell me.  “It has LOTS of those little chicken nuggets!”  Oh yes, those wonderful little chicken nuggets!  He continued, “It cost seven something…….the staff helped me.”  I asked Aaron why the staff helped him with the extra money, and he said, “Because that restaurant came up with tax!”

Oh my, that pesky tax that restaurants come up with!  He went on with telling me that Popeyes is going to start selling seafood, but that this doesn’t make sense because Popeyes is a CHICKEN restaurant and CHICKEN restaurants do NOT sell seafood and why are they going to sell seafood in a CHICKEN restaurant…………

Aaron and food……..what would we do with Diabetes thrown into the mix?  I know that many people with special needs handle this issue and that we would, too, if necessary.  And so I waited for that phone call, which finally came yesterday, on Friday morning.  The nurse told me that Aaron’s blood work was very good and that he does NOT have Diabetes.  Such a relief!  I texted everyone to tell them the good news, and I thanked God for this answer to prayer……..all the while being reminded that even if Aaron did have Diabetes, I would need to see that as an answer to prayer as well.  God’s answers do not always mean that He will agree totally with our request.  If Aaron had Diabetes, then God would have had a reason for that.  I would have had no right to say that God didn’t answer my prayers.  He always answers and His answers are always right and beneficial.  This is God’s sovereignty in full display, these “no” answers as well as the “yes” answers.

I couldn’t wait to tell Aaron this good news as I walked into his room.  “Aaron!  Guess what?  You don’t have Diabetes!” 

And his response on this movie Friday at Paradigm?  “CAN I HAVE A LARGE BUTTERED POPCORN??!!”

Oh, Aaron.  See what I mean?  No sign of relief from Aaron as you might expect.  No thankfulness or elation.  Just concern about his next food splurge. 

Sometimes I wish my life was so simple that my main concern was about whether I could have a large buttered popcorn on that day.  Yet I know that God wants me to place my concerns on Him and have that simple faith that says He always hears and He always knows best, no matter the outcome.  Buttered popcorn or not!

Do I Have To Go?

Most of us live by some amount of routine in our lives.  For those individuals with autism, routine is most definitely not just a part of their lives, but a necessity.  This is certainly true for Aaron.  And when that routine is broken, we never know just how he’ll react.  This is why I was a little worried about how his first morning back at his day group, Paradigm, was going to go.  Would he be a willing participant as we switched back to the “old” morning routine, or would he be angry and rebellious?  I knew that it could go either way.
 
Aaron came downstairs yesterday on our first “normal” morning that we have had in a week.  All the snow from our two big storms have kept him home.  I inwardly cringed as I heard him coming slowly down the stairs.  He had just gotten out of bed and so was moving slowly.  I had prayed earlier in the morning about Aaron’s attitude, and I shot up another quick prayer as he lumbered into the kitchen. 

He was disheveled and his eyes were droopy.  His body sagged and he had no vitality at all.  Oh yeah, Aaron was playing the part of a victim very well………..a victim of being jerked back to reality and having to resume normalcy.  I smiled at him and cheerily said, “Well, good morning, Aaron!”

He continued to droop and then very wearily said, “I’m tired.”  He continued to stand there looking at me, even sagging a bit more in his effort to show me that this day was just more than he could possibly bear.  When his comment and his visual demonstration got no response from me, he flatly continued……..”I read a long time.” 

It still makes me laugh to think of how perfectly he was seizing this opportunity to appeal to my mother heart.  I was as chirpy as a spring bird as I confirmed to him that I knew he was tired and I knew he had read a long time the night before, but that I also knew a warm shower and some hot coffee would work wonders on his depleted self.   He stood there, with his pajama shirt hanging out of his pajama pants that were dragging on the floor around his feet………the perfect picture of dejection and exhaustion……….and in some disbelief he asked, “So do I have to go?”

I went about my work in the kitchen, seemingly oblivious to his distress…..and hoping that he was equally oblivious to the fact that I was dreading his reaction to what I knew I must say.  I calmly replied, “Well, Aaron, Dad went to work both yesterday and today.  I have to get back to my physical therapy today, and all the kids are back in school.  So, yes, today you get to go back to Paradigm.”

He stood there, absorbing this reality, and pondering something.  I soon learned that he was pondering a deal………..a deal concerning his keyboard that we remove every night before bed, and then hook back up to his computer while he is away the next day.  “Mom,” he began, “can we do this thing where you put the keyboard in before I leave?”  In other words, Aaron wanted to watch me put the keyboard in just before we left for his group……….not so he could use it but so that he could just have the comfort of knowing that it was plugged in and ready for him to use when he returned home.  I have actually done this before and it worked well, so I didn’t need to think long before I told Aaron that yes, I would do that.  I would plug in his keyboard before we left provided he shower and get all ready to go. 

He gladly accepted this counter deal, and his sagging body straightened.  He took his pills as he watched me pour his coffee, and soon he was in the shower.  Not long after, as I was getting ready, I heard him outside my bedroom door.  He knocked on my locked door, and I heard him flatly ask again, “Do I really have to go?”  He was hanging on to a thread of hope that somehow I had considered his plight and changed my mind.  So I reaffirmed that he was going to Paradigm, and of course he asked, “So can you put the keyboard in?” 

“Did you shower, Aaron?”   To which he answered yes and to which I confirmed that the keyboard would be plugged in BEFORE we left.  We had this same confirming conversation several times over the next 45 minutes………Aaron continuing to ask about the keyboard and me continuing to say yes……….until finally I just gave him my “mom” look and he knew that the answer was yes and also knew that mom was weary of the one-track questioning.  The questioning did not stop, however, until we were ready to leave and he oversaw me plugging in the keyboard.

And then he asked, “Mom, are you going to leave the keyboard in?”

Good grief, Aaron……….HUSH ABOUT THE KEYBOARD!!!!!

He seemed to get the message, as our drive to meet his group was full of talk about Decepticons and Autobots and other Transformer “stuff” that makes no sense to me…….but was a relief because it had nothing to do with keyboards.

He burst in the house at his usual time, and I thought that if his first comment had the word “keyboard” in it then I just might toss his keyboard in one of our backyard snowdrifts.  Thankfully, though, his first comment was, “Mom!  We had pizza!”  He proceeded to tell me about the pizza he had for lunch and then said, “I don’t have any money left.  I used it at Quik Trip.  I used it for me and Rosie.”   He told me how he had bought Rosie a lemonade and himself a bottle of water.

We had our usual discussion about how he’s not supposed to use his money for Rosie.  I reminded him that one reason for this is because Rosie’s mom doesn’t want Aaron giving Rosie money for food.  To which Aaron very matter-of-factly replied, “It was not food.  It was drink.”

Have I discussed recently that individuals with autism not only love routines, but are also very literal? 

I laughed as he went upstairs to check on that keyboard.

That Boyfriend/Girlfriend Thing

On Sunday evening, Aaron told Gary and I that his headphones were broken.  It appeared that he was correct, so I decided to run out to our new Goddard Wal-Mart to get him another set of headphones.  We were getting ready to be hit with a blizzard the next day, and no way was I going to be stuck in the house with Aaron having no headphones.  For most games and movies, he believes that he MUST be wearing his headphones.  Without them………well, he or I one would not survive, and I just didn’t even want to go there.

We climbed in the van, buckled up, put in just the right CD, and off we drove into the west………to good old Wal-Mart.  Aaron was talking about anything and everything as we rode along.  My mind was pretty much on auto-pilot, listening to Aaron talk, talk, talk and thinking of what else I needed to buy before we were inundated with the promised snow.  That’s when, out of the blue as he so often does, Aaron unexpectedly asked, “Mom?  Is it OK that Rosie and I are friends?”

So where did this come from, I thought?  I’ve written several times about Aaron’s special friendship with Rosie.  They like each other and he is so nice to her.  That last fact is in itself a miracle.  Gary and I are happy for their special friendship.  When Aaron talks about her like this, with no connection to our conversation, then I know it’s usually because he has some issue on his mind. 

I replied, “Yes, Aaron, it’s OK that you and Rosie are friends.”

He continued, “Well………she’s a girl and I’m a boy.”

Pause.  And I hesitantly say, “Yes?”……….and wonder what’s next.

He asked, “So what’s the difference?”

Now I’m most assuredly out of auto-pilot mode.  My mind is in full engagement, wondering what his last question means.
 
Then I very intelligently and fearfully ask, “What do you mean?”

He answered, “Well, does that mean I’ll be doing that boyfriend/girlfriend thing?”

My relief almost made me sag.  Perhaps this wasn’t going to be such a difficult conversation after all.  I assured Aaron, as we always do, that he and Rosie can be good friends.  Their special friendship is a wonderful thing. 

“So I don’t have to be that boyfriend/girlfriend thing?”

“Do you want to be boyfriend/girlfriend, Aaron?” I asked.

“No”, he replied, “but some of the other clients tease me about it.”

Once again, I encourage him to not let the teasing bother him……..to just laugh and be nice……….and to keep being a special friend with Rosie.

By this time we were walking in to Wal-Mart.  By the time I got a cart and turned to walk in the entrance, there stood Aaron………..holding up a small round watermelon, with a huge grin on his face.

“Look, Mom!!  It’s a little watermelon!!”  I commented on his delightful find, and he hurried on back to the electronics section to look for his headphones.  He didn’t mention Rosie again the rest of the night.  It seemed that his concern over whether he would be doing that boyfriend/girlfriend thing had disappeared.

Yet I know better.  This issue is on his mind more than we realize.  That’s why it keeps coming up over and over again.  He’s trying to figure out how to do the boyfriend/girlfriend thing, as he says…..or how to BE the boyfriend/girlfriend thing.   He’s venturing into unfamiliar territory, as are Gary and I.  I hope we have wisdom, and I hope we remain sensitive to Aaron’s feelings.  We’re very happy for him to have Rosie as a special friend.

The joy he shows when he holds a small round watermelon, or as he did later, an oddly shaped purple eggplant, is such fun to see.  Likewise, I want to continue to see his friendship with Rosie through his eyes……….to know that’s it’s unique and valuable to him………….but also full of questions. 

I just pray that we will have the right answers.  Not dismissive answers, but honest answers and wise answers.

But I tell you, it sure is easier talking about watermelons and eggplants than it is to talk about that boyfriend/girlfriend thing!  

Wheel. Of. FORTUNE!!!!

When Aaron was very young, probably when he was about a year and a half old, he started watching Wheel of Fortune every evening.  He absolutely loved that game show!  He would laugh and clap as he watched the letters being called out and then turned by Vanna White.  He would even stand by our dishwasher, reach inside when the door was open, and turn the bottom spray arm as he gleefully clapped and laughed and in his little voice yelled out, “Wheel.  Of.  FORTUNE!!!!”  He was adorable.  And unbeknownst to us, he was learning his letters.  He totally shocked us one day before he was 2 years old by pointing to the letters in a magazine article that Gary was reading and telling him what each letter was.  Gary yelled for me to come, so I ran downstairs, expecting that maybe Aaron had fallen and gotten hurt.  But instead Gary wanted me to see this surprise that was sitting on his lap…………our little baby boy who was correctly calling out each letter as Gary pointed to it.  We clapped every bit as much as the contestants on Wheel of Fortune, and Aaron clapped in delight as well.
 
We moved to Germany that next year, where we lived for six years and where Aaron didn’t have the same opportunity to watch his beloved Wheel of Fortune.  As he grew up and we moved back to the States, he never became attached to that once-favorite show like he had when he was a toddler.  Last year, though, Aaron found his old Wheel of Fortune PC game.  He and I played it occasionally, and really had a lot of fun with it.  Now he has a new Wheel of Fortune PC game, which we played a few weeks ago…….and once again had fun doing that together.  All of this led me to remember that Wheel of Fortune is still on television, so I told Aaron this bit of news.  I am beginning to question the wisdom of that decision.  🙂
The first night that he and I watched Wheel of Fortune together, Aaron was almost as delighted as when he was a little child.  Now every day the questioning starts in the morning.  “Mom, can we watch Wheel of Fortune tonight?”   I always tell him that I’m not sure.  Soon he repeats the question.  “So, Mom, can we watch Wheel of Fortune tonight?”  Again, I repeat that I’ll have to see what’s going on.  I’ve learned to never commit definitely to an activity, because if something interrupts it, I am in huge trouble with Aaron.  In his mind, I have lied.  That’s the black and white world in which Aaron lives.  But again I hear, “So Mom, do you think we can watch Wheel of Fortune?”   I’ll answer the same as long as he asks, but he is never deterred.

Watching Wheel of Fortune with Aaron is somewhat entertaining……..interesting……….funny……..and definitely loud.  Quite loud.  Aaron doesn’t miss a beat, either.  Every sequence of events, every comment, every gesture……everything!…….is for him a source of endless commentary.  And the loudness comes from the clapping.  Not the contestants clapping, but Aaron’s clapping!  Oh my goodness.  That young man can clap louder than any human on the planet, of that I am quite certain.  I am taken back to his little chubby hands clapping together with great joy as a toddler watching Wheel of Fortune.  Now he’s grown and has over the years perfected this ear-splitting clap of his, made with his thick hands.  Seriously, his clap will at times leave my ears ringing. 

Aaron wants to watch Wheel of Fortune for the very beginning until the very end.  This is the same way that he reads a book or watches a movie.  He reads a book from the very, very first word until the very, very last word…….table of contents, index, and all.  He watches a movie from the very, very beginning until the very, very end…………down to the very tiniest print at the very, very end of the credits.  Sigh.  So when I made my semi-commitment to watch Wheel of Fortune with Aaron, it was on the condition that I may NOT be able to watch it every single night.  I have to cover all my bases here.  Then I remembered the DVR, and so decided that I could tape the show on nights that I might be busy right at 6:30……….or for Aaron, 6:29……..so that he can watch the very, very first part of the show.  He loves watching Vanna and Pat come out on the stage together amidst the clapping and cheers.  This is, of course, a very, very necessary part of Wheel of Fortune…….for Aaron.

The first night that I taped Wheel of Fortune, I called Aaron downstairs for supper.  He thought I called him down to watch the show and so he was very concerned when he saw us sitting down to eat.  I told him not to worry, that I was taping the show, and yet he still had worry written all over his face.  “But Mom, are you taping for the VERY beginning of the show?!!”  I assured him that I was.  Then a couple minutes later……”Mom, are you SURE you’re taping from the VERY beginning?”   And again I promised that the show would start at the VERY beginning.  I tried to explain the wonder of the DVR, but he wasn’t convinced and continued to ask several more times if I was SURE that Wheel of Fortune would start at the VERY important beginning.  I sure was praying that our DVR worked correctly, and was VERY thankful when yes indeed, we got to see Vanna and Pat walk out together.  Whew!

Like I said, there is nothing that goes unnoticed by Aaron.  His questions and his comments are numerous.  “Mom, are Vanna White and Pat Sajak married?”  I told him that they are not married.  “So why do they hold hands?”  And I explain that they are good friends and have worked together for many years……and so they hold hands sometimes.  He thought this was strange.
 
Aaron wonders about the clothes that Vanna and Pat wear.  “So Pat Sajak wears a suit but Vanna White wears a fashion dress.”   Yes.  “Vanna’s dress is long!  Why doesn’t she trip on it?”   “Would you like a dress like that, Mom?”    “Why is her dress all shiny?”   “Look!!  She has flowers on her dress!!”   And on and on it goes. 

He notices the card that Pat is holding and wonders what is written on it.  He notices the way that the letter board lights up and is it a computer and how Vanna just touches it and the letter turns.  He notices Pat Sajak’s personality – “Pat Sajak does this thing of being funny!  Why is he funny?”  And Aaron just can’t make sense of why Pat must ask questions of the contestants.  To Aaron this is very odd.  “Mom, why is he asking if they’re married?!  He’s not married to them!”  No amount of explanation seems to sink in to Aaron, and he continues to wonder about all those rather strange, rude questions.

And the clapping………….yes, the clapping of the audience and the contestants.  This frequent clapping gives Aaron permission to join in, much like he did when he was a child.  Except that the decibels have gone way up now, and so I cringe and I fuss and I threaten………but to no avail.  CLAP!!!  “Mom, look at how they spin the wheel!”   CLAP!!!   “Mom, did they land on the Jackpot?!”   CLAP!!!  And sometimes for no reason…….CLAP!!!!  CLAP!!!!  CLAP!!!!

Aaron wonders why the contestants are so happy when they win a trip.  CLAP!!!  “So what’s the big deal about going to an island?”   CLAP!!!   He finds the cars that they sometimes win to be very interesting.  “Mom, the car tonight was silver!!  And last night it was red!”   CLAP!!!  “So when they win a car, it’s cost free?!”   Oh, I do love how he describes these concepts. 

Yes, Aaron, the car is cost free.   CLAP!!!

He really doesn’t understand the facial expressions of the contestants.  This is so common for those with autism.  The expressions on other’s faces and the social cues that are presented  often go completely unnoticed.  Therefore, as Aaron watches the body language that goes on during this game show, he is puzzled.   “Mom, that woman is strange!”  I asked him why he would say that and he replied, “Because she’s so excited.”  I use the opportunity to explain her excitement and why it transfers to her outward behavior, but almost before I can finish he’s off on another observation. 

“Why is that woman making a face with her eyes big like this?!”  Or…..”Did you see what she did to her hair?”  He registers nearly every eye movement, hand gesture, shoulder shrug, laugh, frown………..it all goes in his brain, but he can’t necessarily make sense of it.  So interesting!  At this point, I’m finding myself more intrigued by Aaron than I am by Wheel of Fortune.  CLAP!!!

Then there was the night that Vanna White hugged the guest LA Lakers basketball player at the end of the game.  Aaron found this to be of great interest, as he blurted out, “SEXY!!!”  I gave him my stern look and he explained, “But you said that word isn’t a bad word.” 

So I had to agree that, yes, I did say that the word ‘sexy’ is not a bad word……….but I just never know where Aaron is going to go with something like that.  Good grief – why does he have to notice everything?!
 
Aaron, why don’t you just go and……………CLAP!!!!

Is Mustard….Mayo? Or Mayo……Mustard?

This past Thursday, on Valentine’s Day, Aaron had his yearly eye exam appointment.  The exam went well, even though Aaron doesn’t do so great on the peripheral vision or the puff-of-air glaucoma check.  He doesn’t fuss but he just doesn’t see the little faint dots or open his eyes wide enough, or something, so if he was given a pass or fail – those would be a fail.  Everything else went fine, thankfully, and we were finished pretty quickly.  That gave us an edge on getting a good seat for lunch at Chili’s, which is very near his eye doctor.
 
We were seated in the colorful booth, and Aaron immediately began to look at the menu choices.  He mostly wanted to look at the pictures of the food, for this is his favorite way of picking out what he wants to eat.  We completely forgot to talk about what to drink before the server was there to take our drink orders.  I reminded Aaron that he didn’t need to look for pictures of the drinks, and I offered him some options.  He thought for awhile as the waitress and I patiently waited……….and then loudly asked, “Do you have water?”  I chuckled and the waitress nicely told him that yes, they had water, and off she went to get our drinks.
 
From that point, our friendly waitress wanted to ask me all the questions that were really for Aaron.  She looked at me and asked, “Would he like some lemon in his water?”  So I looked at Aaron and asked, “Aaron, would you like lemon in your water?”  He said no, and off she went.  Later, after Aaron ordered chicken strips……..making sure that they were indeed boneless……really and truly boneless……and crispy………our server returned with our food, looked at me and asked, “Would he like sauce?  Ranch, barbecue…..?”  So I looked at Aaron and asked, “Aaron, would you like sauce?  Ranch, barbecue……?”  He chose barbecue and again, off she scurried.  This scenario happened a few other times.  For crying out loud, couldn’t she see that Aaron was fully capable of listening, understanding, and answering?  Sometimes people amaze me!

Aaron kept up his usual chatter as we ate.  “Mom!  That sign says ‘MARGARITA Bar.’ ”  He emphasized the word ‘Margarita’ because I think he knows what it means and that he’s not allowed to have that beverage.  He continued, as he pointed toward the sign, “Is that beer?”  To Aaron, any alcoholic drink is beer.  I tried to explain, knowing that he would continue to see it as beer.
 
We had a lengthy discussion about tornadoes.  Aaron is aware that tornado season will be upon us soon, so he’s been talking about it a lot.  I should just record my answers to his usual questions and push the button when he begins the discussion.  And we also had our running back-and-forth commentary about tornado sirens………..where they are located, what they are for,  how they sound, how they rotate, why they rotate……     All the while, Aaron was trying to solve the problem created when his chips and salsa eating was interrupted by the arrival of his meal.  He usually eats one item at a time, so the big plate of chicken strips interfered with his chips and salsa.  He took a bite or two of his chicken, but decided that this was just too confusing.  Plus he noticed that occasionally I would reach over and take a chip, and this was an even bigger problem.  He couldn’t risk me finishing off the chips, so he abandoned his chicken and very quickly started scooping up chips, carefully dipping them in the salsa and quickly reaching for another one.  He’s so predictable and so all about himself!  I know this and I understand, but I teased him anyway and he seemed to not even hear.   However, he did notice when I reached over and took one of his French Fries.  He promptly moved his plate away from me, and reached for yet another chip.  Ah, Aaron!

The server came by and thought that Aaron was finished, so she asked if she could take his plate.  Yay!  She finally talked TO Aaron!  But he moved his plate away from her and told her that he was not finished.  He meticulously took each French fry and dipped it carefully into the ketchup……..and somehow was reminded of mayonnaise.  “Mom, is mayo another name for mayonnaise?”  I told him that it is, and he then went down the road of mayo and mustard.  He seems to get them confused continually.  “Why is mayo a different name for mustard?” he asked. 

Mayo is not a different name for mustard, Aaron.  Mayo is mayonnaise and mustard is mustard. 
 
“Oh,” he replied.  “So mustard……..it’s called mayo?”

No, Aaron.  Mustard is mustard.  Mayo is mayonnaise.  They are different things.

“So is mayo mustard?” he asked. 
  
AHHHHH!!!!  I reminded him that mayo is white and mustard is yellow……….and he nodded and went on to the next subject, even as I wondered if he got mayo and mustard straight in that brain of his.  I doubt it.

“Mom, I told Barb that I wish I was young.”   I told him that he is not old and he said, “I’m 28!”………as if 28 is indeed very old!  So I said, “Well, to me you’re young.  But to an 8 year old you might seem a little old.”  

I wondered what I was thinking as he responded, “So to an 8 year old I’m half old?”  I was just trying to formulate my answer to that question when he continued, “So I’m half old and half young?”  I love how his mind works as he connects the dots that my comment created…….half old and half young…………and I was a bit relieved when the server came to our table with the bill and Aaron said to her, “It seems like your voice is kind of high!” 

She laughed and I laughed, and Aaron wanted to know if he was being rude.  Soon we were ready to leave, and before we got up from the booth I reminded Aaron not to clap……….and please don’t stare at people or point to their food………….and don’t make any farting noises with his mouth…………..and by all means, DO NOT STRETCH!!!!  If you’ve seen Aaron stop in the middle of a crowded restaurant and stretch, you would totally understand this instruction from me.  Hands high about his head, stomach way out, and lots of noises.  Think gorilla.

We safely and rather quietly left the restaurant, with Aaron talking all the way………which is never really quiet, but it beats the stretching routine any day. 

I am somewhat mentally fatigued whenever I have an outing with Aaron that involves public settings and other people and food and plenty of time for rather loud conversations and the presence of BEER in any form!  But he’s never boring and he’s actually delightful if I take the time to really listen……….like the half old and half young comment.  I wonder if I’m the only one who understands that connection that he made.

And I’m thankful for the connection that I have………that we as a family have……….to this very unique Aaron…………noisy, one-of-a-kind Aaron!