Author: Patty hesaidwhatks

This little snippet will reinforce what I said in my last blog, which is:

1.  Aaron is observant

2.  Aaron talks about his observations

3.  Aaron has few filters

Gary and I are a set of parents who:

1.  Wish that Aaron wasn’t always so observant

2.  Wish that Aaron would keep some of his observations to himself

3.  Wish that Aaron had more selective filters

Yesterday Aaron saw an article of my clothing that reminded him of an incident in the East Mall on Thursday that he somehow forgot to tell me about.  Here we go:

“Mom!  Yesterday in the East Mall we were walking around and I saw a STATUE of a lady wearing BRAS!!!!!!!”

I remained calm and unaffected……….outwardly………..even as I felt the blood draining from my face.  But I reminded myself that I had not received a call from mall security, Wichita police, Aaron’s day group, irate parents………….time for a deep breath.

I casually responded, “Really, Aaron?” 

I didn’t wait long for the rest of the story.

“Yeah, it was a STATUE wearing BRAS!!!  I told Tiffany ‘That’s yours!!  You wear BRAS!!!!’ ” 

Well, well, well.  Tiffany is another client and a friend of Aaron’s.   I’m sure that Tiffany got a good laugh out of this because she and Aaron apparently laugh a lot about lots of things.  I don’t really want to know, honestly. 

Aaron thought that all of this was “quite funny.”  I’m sure all of this was “quite loud.”  I can just hear Aaron’s and Tiffany’s unfiltered, boisterous exchange in the middle of the crowded mall.  Again, some things are best to be left unknown. 

I wanted to ask if the “statue’s” name was Victoria and did she have a secret…………but thought I should just move on to Aaron’s next topic and leave well enough alone. 

Part of what makes Aaron so interesting……..or complex…………or sometimes frustrating……….is the fact that there is very little in life that escapes his attention.  He notices, comments on, questions, or informs us about absolutely anything and everything – whether we are interested or not. 

A friend from our Life Group asked me recently if we would consider letting Aaron join in on our small group time.  We meet in our home and so it would make sense for Aaron to participate.  I told her, though, that as nice as it was for her to want Aaron to be a part of our group and to let me know that he was welcome to come, it wouldn’t work.  Aaron would be interrupting our conversations every chance he got.  He would see that time as his prime opportunity to talk, talk, talk…………and not about the Bible study or prayer requests or each other’s life.  Only his life and his interests.  That’s Aaron!

His comments are random, out-of-the-blue, and often unexpected.  We are usually along for the ride, carried here and there by his observations and stories, and often struggling to respond correctly or with feigned interest or without laughter. 

Yesterday after returning from his group, he described the lunch he bought at the East Mall.  “Mom, I got two pretzel dogs.  You remember pretzel dogs?  They’re this big.”  And he used his hands to approximate the size of the pretzel dogs. 

He continued, “I noticed something about those pretzel dogs.  They’re slippery!”

We talked about the butter on the outside and why they put butter on the outside and then what other good pretzels are sold there and why he doesn’t like the cheese dip but Cody does and the salt on the outside of the pretzels……………  

Wow!  Can he ever take a simple pretzel dog and make a whole commentary on it!

Then, “Mom, after my pretzel, I got a dipped cone at Dairy Queen.  You know, it’s that vanilla ice cream……not chocolate!………but it’s dipped in chocolate………it’s called a shell.”

I asked him if he liked the ice cream cone with the chocolate shell, and he said, “Well, it’s not my favorite.  It’s messy!”

As we headed outside to take Jackson for a walk, Aaron continued talking about the pretzel dogs and ice cream, and then told me about the group stopping at Sonic and how he got a grape slushie.  Then he transitioned right into RVs.  Yes, somehow he decided that he had a question about recreational vehicles. 

“Mom, does an RV have water in it for, you know, a shower or to use a toilet or to come out at a sink?”  I was still on pretzel dogs and grape slushies, but I’ve learned to switch gears quickly, so I told him that yes, RVs do have water inside.

This surprised Aaron.  “You mean an RV has water in it like a human house?” 

Yes, just like a human house, Aaron. 

I guess a human house as opposed to a bird house………..or a dog house………….which reminds me of pretzel dogs……..and chocolate ice cream with a shell………..and grape slushies. 

I’m beginning to think like Aaron!

Aaron’s day group is at the mall today – probably the East Mall, as he calls it.  No telling what stories or descriptions he’ll have to share with me when he comes home. 

For instance, once he was trying to describe the lunch he bought at Wal-Mart. 

“Mom, it wasn’t a Cheddar Pasta Salad.  I don’t know what it’s called…….I can’t remember.” 

So I asked him to describe his unknown meal.

“Well, it was a mashed potato salad thing.”

Hmmm…….I need more info, Aaron.

“It was bright like potatoes.”

Still not sure.

“It was in a bowl thing.”

A bowl thing?

“You know, it was not in that cage.”

And so given this very useful information, I was somehow, amazingly enough, able to figure out that the mashed potato salad thing that was bright like potatoes and in a bowl thing, not in that cage, was:

POTATO SALAD!!!!!  It’s sold separately in a container and isn’t behind the glass counter with the other salads and some of the potatoes are kind of mashed and don’t ask me about it being bright. 

Then last week he went to Target with his group.  He told me, “Mom!  Today we went to Target and I was in the SUPER part!” 

The super part?  OK………..

“I got a Combo Pizza Meal.  It was $2.19 but then it became $7.24!”

Yeah, right, Aaron.  Did I miss something?  Have taxes gone up that much?

Hard to know with Aaron!

Aaron and I left earlier than usual yesterday morning so that on our way to meet his day group we could stop to get his hair cut.  He loves getting his hair cut, as well as his goatee and eyebrows trimmed.  Many of the girls at Great Clips know him now and so he is greeted warmly.  The other patrons are a little more curious about Aaron………..I can read it in their glances at him, or the stares.  Of course, the way Aaron bounds in the font door in his “take charge” fashion doesn’t discourage the stares.  He’ll ask (loudly), “Can I get my hair cut?!”  even as the ladies are still trying to say, “Welcome to Great Clips!”  Aaron knows that I’ve told him we can’t be there long, so if there’s a wait then we may have to leave.  Leaving is not an option to Aaron……….nor is beginning his conversation with a nice “Hello.”  Nope – it’s get right to the business at hand………the hair cut and can I have it now and do I have to wait and I better not have to wait!

We were told that there was only about a five minute wait.  “So can I get my hair cut now, Mom?!”  Yes, Aaron, we can wait for five minutes.

He and I were both very relieved at that news, although for different reasons.  As we sat in the chairs to wait his turn, Aaron began his usual conversation………..loudly, as always.  “Mom, those people in the pictures on the walls look weird.”

Why do you think they look weird, Aaron?

“Well, their hair looks all funny and their faces are shiny!”

So we talk about their haircuts and the make-up and their clothes and why they look just fine, not weird.  I believe, though, that Aaron still does……….and will always………..think they look weird.

Then he said…..loudly………”Mom, Great Clips is a salon, right?  It’s spelled  s -a – l – o – n, right?”

Yes, Aaron, it’s a salon.

“Well, I get that word mixed up with that other word spelled s – a – l – o – o – n.” 

So we talked about the pronunciation of salon and saloon, and how closely similar they are spelled.  Aaron said, “Yeah, I get them confused.” 

He paused and then said, “A salon is where you get your hair cut, but a saloon is that beer dancing thing!  You don’t get your hair cut there!”

Nope, I don’t think anyone would want to get their hair cut at a beer dancing thing.  Although I’ve seen some that look like maybe they have!

Aaron has been wanting to buy a Scooby Doo video, so today I let him take the last of his Christmas gift cash with him to Paradigm.  They go to Wal-Mart, usually, on Tuesday………..so I took a chance on giving him this extra money but I left him with specific instructions.

“Aaron,”  I said, “Don’t go right in and start buying a bunch of candy.  You can get some lunch, but look for that video you want.  You can bring the money home that you don’t spend.  You don’t have to spend it all.” 

Very clear, I thought.

Aaron came home this afternoon carrying a Wal-Mart bag……….but I could tell that it didn’t have a DVD in it.   I asked him if he found the DVD at Wal-Mart.

“No,” he said, “They didn’t have the DVD.  So I went to Subway and got a combo meal.  And then I got this………”   And he pulled out this huge bag of……………naturally……………Skittles. 

Aaron, I told you not to buy a bunch of candy.

He answered, “Mom, you said not to buy candy right away, so I didn’t.  I waited until after lunch to buy it.” 

He should go into politics.

On March 20, 1949, there was a wedding in the little mountain town of Welch, West Virginia.  This wedding was held in the home of Guy and Lillian Hollandsworth.  Jack King and Beth Hollandsworth were joined in marriage on this first day of spring.  It was a simple and sweet wedding.  Life was simpler in those days of 1949.  This tall, handsome man was very much in love with his pretty, petite bride.  She was happy to be secure in the love of this kind, gentle man.  No one outside of their close circle of family and friends gave any thought to this wedding day.  To me, though, it was a monumental day.  You see, I call this special couple Mom and Dad. 

Beth was the youngest child of Guy and Lillian Hollandsworth.  Guy was the school principal in Welch.  Jack was the youngest of two children born to Christal and J.W. King in Oakvale, West Virginia.  Beth’s brother, Luther, was dating Dad’s sister, Mary.  Through that connection, another connection was forming.  Beth had transferred from Berea College in Kentucky to Marshall University, where she completed her degree in Home Economics.  She was teaching back in her home in Welch.  Jack had followed his dad’s footsteps and began working for the Norfolk and Western railroad at the age of 17. 

When Luther would make it to Princeton to visit Mary, Jack would be sure to drive Luther back to his home in Welch.  Jack had ulterior motives for being so helpful to Luther, for sure, and her name was Beth.  Beth was pretty and popular, and had her fill of selfish young men.  Jack was kind, a man of integrity, and she noticed that difference.  Love blossomed between the two.  Their first date was to make a trip down to North Carolina to watch a Tarheel football game.  They stayed with Luther and Mary, who had married.  Jack and Beth shared a love of sports and of music, especially classical music.  And on this particular trip, Beth wondered why Jack referred to red pine trees, and was so relieved to find out that he was simply color blind.  They loved telling stories about their first date!

Jack asked Beth to marry him and she happily said yes.  They planned to marry sometime in the spring of 1949, and always laughed when they told about how they married on the first day of spring.  Well, it WAS spring!  Beth stayed in Welch to finish out her year of teaching, and Jack lived in Princeton, where he worked for the railroad.  Jack would drive to Welch on weekends to see his bride.  He and Beth would often tell the story of Jack’s one and only speeding ticket that he got on one of those drives as he hurried to be with Beth.  They always had a twinkle in their eyes as they shared those memories.

When Beth’s school year was finished, in June, she moved to Princeton to join Jack in a little upstairs apartment that they called home.  Over the next few years they were blessed with five children:  Mary Beth, John, Jan, Patty, and Kathryn.  Life was a little more complicated then with Jack working long hours, and Beth keeping the home running smoothly……..or as smoothly as she could with five children and a husband who had very long work days, worked on weekends, or was called in during the middle of the night for train derailments. 

Jack was a good man, but had never asked Christ to be his personal Lord and Savior.  A man he worked with, Basil Selvey, led Jack to the Lord in the early 50’s.  Jack listened to the radio, growing in his faith as he listened to The Old Fashioned Revival Hour with Dr. Charles Fuller, and to the Radio Bible Class with M. R. DeHaan.  Beth was very committed to her denomination, so Jack kept mostly quiet about his new faith as he continued to grow and to pray for Beth.  Beth was a beautiful soloist and would sing for various church events and revivals.  She sang the song “I’d Rather Have Jesus” for a particular revival, where Jimmy Jones was the preacher, and while singing she knew that she didn’t really mean what she was singing.  Soon she was saved, and she and Jack were truly joined as one. 

Through the years, Jack and Beth…………..Mom and Dad………….were totally devoted to Christ.  They lived out their faith as they raised us five children, and struggled through the ups and downs of life.  I’ve never known anyone else as faithful and devoted as my Mom and Dad, to each other and to the Lord and to us children.  There are many stories that could be told of their love and their dedication.  On this day, which would have been their 63rd anniversary, I think of the example they were to each of us children and to our spouses and our children, of true devotion and love. 

As they got older, they retired just a few months apart and then were inseparable.  They traveled together, went to get groceries together, shopped for Mom’s sewing or quilting supplies together, went to ballgames together, and one would only go to bed when the other one was ready.  When Dad was diagnosed with cancer, Mom went to his treatments with him and was with him every step of the way during those 8 years of his hard fought battle to live.

Dad wanted to live because of Mom.  Not only was he worried about how she would fare without him, for he knew that she was becoming very forgetful, he also could not imagine going to heaven without her.  That issue was the final letting-go that he had to do before he went to heaven.  I went home to help take care of Dad the month before he died.  Their devotion was as strong as ever.  When Dad had to have a hospital bed, Mom would sleep in their bed, pulled up close beside his bed, and they would hold hands through the bars. 

One day they decided that they wanted some Long John Silvers for lunch, so I got Dad all settled in his wheelchair in the living room.  He was facing Mom, who was sitting on the couch.  I left to get our lunch, and when I returned I was shocked at what I saw.  There the two of them sat, on the couch, snuggled together holding hands.  As I walked in, they both looked like teenagers who had been caught making out!  Mom sheepishly told me that it was Dad’s idea, that he wanted to sit by her on the couch, and he shook his head yes in agreement to her story.  The transfer of Dad to the couch scared them both……….the wheelchair, Dad’s catheter, Mom’s lack of strength…………..but to them it was so worth the risk!  I tried to fuss at them, but it truly was a precious moment.  Who would deny them any opportunity to be near each other again…….to sit on the couch and hold hands, alone…………..to experience a moment of joy and love that was to end all too soon? 

On December 4, 2008, Mom and Dad sat on their couch once more…………holding hands and telling John and I the timeless story of their courtship and early married life.  Mom did most of the talking, with Dad slowly lifting his head to look at her and smile his sweet, loving smile.  That was the last time I sat with my Dad and talked to him.  He went on to heaven on December 10…….without Mom.  He’s happy and content with Jesus, we know that beyond a doubt.  Mom is the one who is lonely, who sheds the tears, and lives in the wonderful memories……….memories that are nearly faded from her now as she struggles with the ravages of Alzheimers. 

But some day she and Dad will be together again, for eternity, in heaven.  And we children will be left with our memories of faithful parents who loved each other totally to the very end.  Those are memories that I’m forever thankful for, and a marriage that has been a beautiful example to follow.

As we watched basketball yesterday, a commercial came on for the upcoming “60 Minutes” broadcast.  There was that clock…………tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.

Aaron listened.  Then he excitedly blurted out, “That sounds like DNA!!!  You know…….that stuff that explodes!!”

Uh, Aaron…………..don’t you mean TNT? 

I really don’t want to worry about my DNA exploding. 

I just wanted to tell a little quickie on Aaron.  You know how I’ve written about the fact that he has a hard time pinpointing where someone is from, or does this or that country have such and such a food or religion or music?

Well, last night at supper he was telling Gary and I about how he had read something about Japan.  He then asked, “Aren’t they the people that do a wrestle?”

A wrestle? 

“Yeah,” he continued, “You know, that wrestle that they do.”

Through questioning him, we found out that he meant that kicking and yelling wrestle.  When we asked, “Do you mean Ninjas?”  he excitedly answered, “Yes!  Ninjas!” 

I’m so glad it wasn’t the Sumo wrestling he was talking about.  I’m still not over Aaron’s striped underwear.  I don’t need to talk about Sumos right now. 

When it comes to areas of modesty, Aaron is pretty much on track with the rest of us………….but not totally.  Just ask Andrea about the times Aaron has started up the hall in his skivvies, sees Andrea, and isn’t very embarrassed at all.  Maybe he’s a little TOO comfortable with family?

And then there have been the golden moments when someone has been here who is not family and Aaron begins to tell them about his Vegal Nerve Stimulator, and about how he had to have surgery to have it put in, and do you want to see it?……………..and then he yanks his shirt up to show his scar and to point out the round VNS that is under his skin.  There is a simultaneous chorus from the rest of us standing there as reach toward Aaron and yell, “NOOOOOO!!”………but it’s too late and the poor visitor is treated to a view of all of Aaron from his pants up as he proudly shows his scar and then squeezes the VNS under his skin (yuck!) and…………..well, it’s just a speechless moment for our hapless guest and a red-faced moment for the family.   Oh, but not for Aaron.  He’s just very sure that everyone wants to see a good scar and experience seeing a VNS under someones skin and then see where the leads hook up in his neck.  If we’re having dinner, I do try to assure that this occurrence is AFTER dinner – but with Aaron, you never know. 

I bought Aaron some new underwear last year…………new design, new style………and he was very interested in all this newness.   Some of them are striped.  I don’t know why they are striped, but they are.  So the next day I was in the bathroom fixing my hair, and Aaron had just showered.  Soon I heard that familiar thump, thump, thump that meant he was walking up the hall to my room.   He purposefully came into the bathroom……….wearing only a pair of the new striped underwear.  “Mom!!  See?!  I look like a zebra!!” 

There are some things that I should not have to see………..and I’m not talking about a zebra.  I enjoy seeing zebras at the zoo.  I did NOT enjoy seeing Aaron standing in my bathroom in his new striped underwear, telling me that he looked like a zebra.  He did NOT look like a zebra.  He looked like…………never mind.  Anyway, I told him that he should not be walking around in his underwear and he could not understand why I wasn’t interested in seeing him look like a zebra and I told him to please leave and go dress………..while I tried to free my mind from the image I had just endured.

Yesterday after Aaron got home from his day group, he and I took Jackson on a walk around the circle.  When we got back to the house, Aaron went right up to his room to undress and get his comfy pajamas on.  In a few minutes I headed up the stairs, only to find Aaron undressing in his room with the door open…………and only his underwear on.  He heard me at the moment that I saw him through his open door and as he scooted out of the way, he said, “Woops!”   And I said, “Aaron!  Are you undressed?”

Whereupon he replied, “No!  I have my underwear on!” 

I don’t even want to know at what level Aaron must think he has to be in order to be “undressed.” 

We obviously have some work to do. 

Aaron loves nuts………….the kind he eats, not the ones he lives with.  Anyway, not only does he enjoy eating nuts, but he’s fascinated with all the variety of nuts there are.  He thinks it’s neat that we have two pecan trees…………….pee-con, as he calls them. 

Often Aaron says, “Mom, I found a pee-con when I was in the mulch today!  Who put it there?”  And so we have our usual discussion about the squirrels that steal all of our pee-cons, or maybe the birds that drop the pee-cons, and how the squirrels bury the pee-cons, and why they sometimes forget where they buried the pee-cons, and how long that particular pee-con may have been there…………….I don’t care about pee-cons at all at that point. 

I bought a large can of mixed nuts last week at Sam’s, hoping that they would last a long time.  That usually means I need to hide them from Aaron, but he’s pretty much like a squirrel in being able to find the hidden nuts.  And then he hides his stash that he pours in his favorite snack bowl………..usually under his bed.  I really need to clean under there some day.  No telling what I’ll find. 

Not much escapes Aaron’s observations, and the mixed nuts certainly do intrigue him.  Aaron doesn’t just pop them in his mouth and happily eat.  He has examined the unique characteristics of each variety of nut, and loves to share what he has noticed. 

He thinks pee-cons that we buy in the store and that are part of the mixed nuts are very interesting.  “Mom!  I like that nut.”

Which nut is that, Aaron?

“I don’t know the name, but it’s the one that’s wrinkled.” 

He was surprised the first time that I told him the wrinkled nuts were pee-cons, like the ones that grow on our tree and that the squirrels steal and hide.  But to Aaron they are the wrinkled nuts.

“Mom, look at this nut.  It’s fat!”

The fat nut is a cashew, but fat nut is much easier to remember…………and perhaps relate to? 

On Saturday, in a moment of conviction, he handed me the bowl of nuts that had been hidden under his bed.  He excitedly said, “Mom!  I noticed something!  Some of those nuts have wrappings.” 

Wrappings.  Who would have thought to call the skin a wrapping?  Only Aaron!

“So what do I do with that wrapping, Mom?  Do I need to take it off?”

I have no idea why Aaron was asking me now about whether he should take the wrapping off when he’s eaten how many thousand wrapped nuts.  But I assured him that it was fine for him to eat the wrapping……..or the skin, if you’re boring…………and he was very relieved.

Unwrapping all those nuts could take awhile!  Hmmm…….maybe I should have told him that he needed to unwrap them.  He might eat a lot less!