Author: Patty hesaidwhatks

If Aaron is given a choice of something to buy at the deli, either at Dillons or Wal-Mart, he’ll choose a Cheddar Pasta Salad 99.99% of the time.  And 99.99999% of the time he’ll order a large Cheddar Pasta Salad.  When it comes to eating, Aaron is definitely a “larger is far better” kind of guy. 

Anyway, today he came home from his group and said, “Mom, I got a Cheddar Pasta Salad at Wal-Mart for lunch.  I got a large [shock!] and I’m stuffed!” 

I was glad that he was able to get the Cheddar Pasta Salad today.  It was last Tuesday that the deli was out of his favorite salad, and he bought those 36 rolls.  A large Cheddar Pasta Salad is better – believe me!

After telling me that he bought his Cheddar Pasta Salad [large -shock!], he proceeded to discuss each ingredient with me – from the “twirled pasta” to the dressing.  “Mom, it has those purple onions.”  Yes, Aaron, and for some reason they’re called red onions.  Being color blind, this doesn’t overly concern him.  Good. 

“And it has broccoli – it’s very crunchy!”  Yes, and good for you, too.

“It has that dressing that you don’t like too much.  Is it mustard?”   Oh, good grief!  AGAIN??!!   Can he not ever tell the difference between mustard and mayonnaise?  “No, Aaron – it’s mayonnaise.  Remember, mayonnaise is white.”   “Oh, yeah!!!  Mustard is yellow!”   For the time being, yes.  Until we talk about it again.

He continued, “And Mom, it has that yellow stripped cheese.”   Well, that’s a new one.  It took me a minute.   “Aaron, stripped cheese?”   

“Yeah!  You know, it’s in pieces.” 

Aha!  Of course!  The grated cheese IS in pieces that are strips.  I pulled out a bag of my grated cheese and we talked about it, and about the cheese being grated. 

I don’t know, though.  I really love Aaron’s descriptive words.  Sometimes I wonder if I ruin a good thing by “educating” him. 

Stripped cheese it is! 
  

Aaron loves to eat Goldfish crackers.  The other night we were watching football and he went into the kitchen to get a snack.  Soon he came back into the family room with his blue bowl heaped full of Goldfish.  He was also carrying an empty bowl.  He got settled again in the big chair that he loves, stretched his legs out on the ottoman, covered his legs with his fuzzy blanket (nursing home style), and proceeded to get his bowls situated just right on his lap.  Things must be done correctly before the serious business of eating takes place!

I felt like I knew what the second, empty bowl was for but decided to ask anyway to see what he would say.  “Aaron, you have two bowls.  What’s the empty bowl for?”    And he replied, succinctly, “Crumbs.”  Now I know that Aaron does get a second bowl when he eats things like tortilla chips or cookies – food that is larger and may be crumbly.  He’ll lean over the empty bowl when he takes a bite and then give the chip or cookie a shake in order to get rid of the crumbs.  Crumbs must never go into the same bowl as the uneaten chips or cookies.  But Goldfish are very small and you don’t bite into them, creating crumbs. 

I watched Aaron out of the corner of my eye as he ate the Goldfish.  Every now and then he would toss a Goldfish into the empty bowl.  He would toss it rather quickly, like it was almost hot or uncomfortable for him to hold.  And I knew what he was doing.  Here’s a picture that I took later, after he had gone to bed.

The Goldfish that Aaron won’t eat and must dispose of are those that are defective.  They have part of the cracker area missing, or have a hole in them, etc.  He will NOT eat those Goldfish.  I’ve noticed this in the past.  He’s pretty secretive about it, as if he knows this behavior is strange and so he doesn’t want to talk about it.  In fact, as he tossed the unwanted Goldfish into the empty bowl that night he would glance at me to see if I was looking.   The workings of Aaron’s mind continue to fascinate us, no matter how long we live with him. 

Deep thoughts also cross my mind, such as:    Why on earth will Aaron sometimes eat a paper towel (no joke!) but won’t eat a defective Goldfish cracker?  I’ll probably never figure that one out! 

As you’ve seen in some of my other posts, Aaron has certain things that he does the same way every time he engages in that activity.  The way he makes his bed – remember The Order of the Covers post.  The way he cuts coupons; the way he says goodnight; the way he wears his watch; the lists he keeps – on and on.  The insistence on sameness that Asperger’s individuals exhibit is certainly a part of his life. 

This fact is definitely seen whenever Aaron eats.  It doesn’t matter what the menu is for Aaron – he will ALWAYS make sure that he has a spoon, a fork, and a knife.  Sometimes two spoons, for some reason.  I don’t care if he’s having soup – he will get up from the table, open the silverware drawer, and get a knife and a fork before he will eat the soup – with a spoon, of course. 

One day I fixed him one of his favorites – a quesadilla, which is finger food!   And notice the silverware:

Just this week he ate the last piece of Apple Pie for breakfast, as well as celery with peanut butter.  Weird, I know, but he was happy.  I gave him his pie with a fork on the plate.  Sure enough, when I went back into the kitchen he was up out of his chair, walked to the drawer, and got his knife and spoon.

He didn’t use them but he wants them there just the same.  We tell him that he doesn’t need them but it makes no difference – he will have them there by his plate.  Some things are not worth fighting.

But I sure am glad to have a dishwasher for all that silverware!

This morning I had the usual rush getting out the door to take Aaron to meet his group.  I didn’t return home until nearly 1:00.  As I was cleaning the kitchen, I opened the door where our trash can is to throw something away, and there it was.  The box that held the 18 rolls.  The EMPTY box that once held the 18 rolls. 

Of course Aaron ate the remaining rolls this morning.  What did I expect?  I wondered how many there were.

Later this evening, Aaron came into the family room and said, “Mom!  This morning I ate the rolls for breakfast.”   I told him that yes, I had noticed that, and then I asked, “So how many rolls did you eat?”

And he answered, “The rest of them!!”

I had to laugh.  Aaron, I KNOW you ate the rest of them!  But just how many was that?!

“Oh, there were four,” he matter-of-factly replied.  “They were good, too, and now all the rolls are gone.” 

But he knows now how to remedy that situation with the next trip to Wal-Mart!

Aaron loves rolls – yeast rolls in particular – but nearly any kind of bread is a huge hit with him.  If we have rolls for a meal, we usually end up hiding them after we eat.  If we don’t, then Aaron will sneak into the kitchen to take the rolls a few at a time until they are all gone – usually by bedtime.  It’s so frustrating to go into the kitchen, ready to pop a roll into the microwave, only to find the empty plastic storage bag on the counter.  Aaron!!!

This morning Aaron asked if he could have some extra money since his group was going shopping, probably to Wal-Mart.  So instead of his usual 5 dollars, I gave him 7 – and some change.  But I warned him, “Aaron, do NOT go and buy a bunch of candy with that money.  You don’t need a huge bag of Skittles or several boxes of Mike and Ikes.”  Then I urged him to buy something good for lunch.  I said, “You know, Aaron, you could go to the deli and buy some real food for lunch.”  He agreed – but with Aaron I never know.

He bounded in the house this evening, holding a Wal-Mart bag that had something like a box in it.  He was very excited.  “Mom!!  You know what you said about not buying candy?  Well, I didn’t.  Instead, I bought this!!”  And out of the bag he pulled – this:

A box of rolls.  He was very pleased with himself.  Instead of buying 3 pounds of Skittles, he bought 18 rolls.  Well…………..I guess that’s O.K.   I was wondering what he had eaten for lunch since these were unopened.  He was a little evasive.  So I asked him how much the rolls cost and he told me they cost “3 dollars and something.” 

“Well, Aaron, you must have some money left,” I said.  “No,” he replied, “I don’t.”   Then I asked him what else he had bought and he pointed to the box of 18 rolls and said, “Another one of those!” 

Oh my goodness!!  THIRTY-SIX ROLLS!!!!!!!!!  But he assured me that he had shared the other box of rolls with friends and staff at his group.  He felt that he had been very wise today.  He didn’t buy candy; he didn’t buy slurpees; he didn’t buy chips.  He just bought 36 rolls. 

We ate some of the rolls for supper tonight.  He kept an eagle eye on the plate that held the rolls and made sure that he grabbed the last one that was left.  Later, as we cleaned the kitchen, we noticed that the container of rolls was missing some.  He sure can snatch and run very quickly. 

I’ve told him about other choices in the deli – a sandwich, some fruit, a salad – but leave it to Aaron to spy those rolls and forget anything that I said.  Ah, what freedom!  To have 36 rolls all his own – to eat, to share – but not to have them hidden from him.  He said the woman at the register asked him if he was having a party, and he told her no.  But to him it was a party – with 36 rolls! 

We never know what a day will hold with Aaron!

In my post yesterday, I talked about two of Aaron’s repetitive behaviors – rubbing his hands together, as well as the loud clapping.  He has other charming behaviors, as well.  One that he shares quite often is making noises with his mouth. 

Some of the noises may leave people a little puzzled when they hear them but they are not offensive.  One of those would be when he meows like a kitten.  It may be a little odd if you’re standing somewhere and hear a grown man meow, but it’s not terribly uncomfortable. 

However, Aaron’s very favorite noise is quite the opposite of the meow sound.  His noise of choice sounds like……………..well………………..my dad would have wanted me to say that it sounds like Aaron is ‘passing gas.’     Or that whoever might be standing beside him………….which is usually ME………..is passing gas. 

I become very embarrassed when Aaron makes this noise, as you can imagine.  Whether we’re walking past the Wal-Mart greeter;  walking down a store aisle;  waiting in the check-out line;   sitting in a waiting room;  eating in a restaurant;   in the theater  –  it never gets any easier for me when Aaron decides to blurt out this pleasing noise. 

“AARON!!!,”  I hiss. “Stop making that noise!!!!”    And he almost always asks, “Why?”   WHY??!!  “Because people will think that one of us is…….farting…….(sorry, Dad)……..and that’s embarrassing!”  

But Aaron doesn’t respond to social situations like you and I do.  His filters, the few that he has, are way off base.  Aaron receives some sort of satisfaction from making this noise, just like the clapping, but he is not embarrassed by it.  Not at all.  Ever. 

He came home from his group one day and told me, “Mom, I was standing in the line at Wal-Mart and I made the meow noise.  Then this lady looked at me funny.”  

Well, yes, Aaron I’ve told you many times that no one else makes these noises and that when you do, people think it’s strange, and so they will stare at you – which is why you need to stop making the noises……………on and on and on.

His reply:  “But Mom, isn’t the meow noise better for me to make than the farting noise?” 

Well, when you put it that way…………….

Individuals with autism often exhibit repetitive actions that may be very unusual to the average person.  Sometimes these behaviors are calming to the one with autism, or they may result from stimulation.

Sometimes these behaviors are NOT calming to the individuals who live with these autistic persons.

Sometimes these behaviors cause the people living with the autistic individual to become stimulated and begin their own repetitive behaviors. 

Let me explain.  Aaron, when he is telling about something that excites him, will bend over at his waist a little and rub his hands together.  This behavior is a little funny and is not annoying.  Aaron also loves to clap.  These claps can be ear splitting.  I am sure that he must have the loudest claps of anyone ever living on planet Earth.  This behavior is not funny and is beyond annoying.  Aaron has clapped since he was very little.  His very little claps were cute and we assumed were just the behavior of a very little toddler person.   He never outgrew the clapping, and now his large claps are not cute as they come from this large grown man. 

As we walk into a store I will automatically remind Aaron not to clap.  He can usually stop himself from clapping during these times when he is out in public, but sometimes I may be in another part of the store and I will hear the familiar CLAP.  I roll my eyes and imagine what everyone around him must be thinking. 

So the repetitive behaviors that WE have developed as we live with Aaron are to repeat over and over:  “Aaron, do not clap in the store.”    “Aaron, do not clap while we’re eating.”   “Aaron, do not clap during the movie.”    “Aaron, do not clap during the ball game.”     “Aaron, DO NOT CLAP WHEN YOU’RE SITTING RIGHT BESIDE ME.”   Notice our stimulation in the last phrase.   

We had our small group Bible study over last night.  Aaron was upstairs in his room, playing a game on his computer.  He claps a lot when he plays a game.  We’re very used to it and hardly notice.  Gary was teaching and every little bit we’d hear the familiar clap.  “And so we see in these verses………..CLAP………….that Jesus was reminding us to………….CLAP…………..remember that in this life…………..CLAP…………..we are to strive to be peacemakers…………..CLAP.”   And so it went.

Later, after everyone had left, one friend remained behind and visited with us awhile.  We were talking and there it was………..CLAP……….and our friend paused and asked, “What is that?”  And we told her that was just Aaron, clapping, like only Aaron claps.  Our friend understands Aaron and accepted the explanation as being a very natural thing.  And for us and for Aaron, it is.

Several years ago Aaron broke his wrist.  He had to have surgery to have pins inserted, so he had the cast on for weeks.  We were sorry about the pain and the discomfort for him – but I have to say, the quietness was a gift!  Even Aaron laughed when we talked about how now he couldn’t clap.  I would never want Aaron to break his wrist again, but I must admit that on some days the thought of a cast sure is appealing. 

Do I hear a round of applause? 

Yesterday evening I decided to make a quick (I hoped!) trip to Big Lots.  Gary and Andrew were going to join friends for supper and a Wichita Wings soccer game; Andrea went to a friend’s house; and so it was Mom and Aaron time.  He was very excited at the prospect of shopping and then going to Burger King – his choice – to get anything that had bacon on it. 

As we were winding up our shopping at Big Lots, we walked toward the cash registers where it was getting pretty crowded in those narrow aisles.  Aaron was barreling through in front of me, with me watching him closely to be sure he didn’t overstep his bounds as he often does in a crowd.  There he was, with his eyes big as he looked for something else I might let him buy and with his watch pushed halfway up his arm – and a woman looked right at him.  Their eyes met and she asked him, “Do you work here?” 

This question really flustered him.  He just looked at her – and then nicely told her no.  He turned toward me…………and laughed.  He laughed as if she had just told a very funny joke.  To Aaron it really was a very funny joke.  He took a few steps back in my direction and said (loudly), “That was a crazy thing for her to ask!  I don’t work here!!!”  

It WAS all too funny at that point.  She was looking at him and I think realization had set in on her face as she smiled.  Aaron was still laughing his deep laugh of disbelief, and I was telling him to hush.  I knew that he might have other comments to loudly make about this woman who thought he worked there.  I was happy when Aaron noticed the fake fire places as we stood in line and so got his mind on something else other than the crazy woman who thought he worked there.

Later, as he and I watched West Virginia play football, he started laughing again.  “Mom, that was really DUMB for that woman to think I worked there!”  So I told him that it was a compliment, that she must have thought he looked responsible, and so forth.  I’m not sure he bought that.  Black and white, factual Aaron will continue to think that this woman was crazy and that it was dumb for her to think that he worked there.  I wonder if she’s thinking the same thing? 

Aaron has certain ways in which he organizes and categorizes things.  Unfortunately, this process often involves trash cans.  I say unfortunately because we’ve ended up with lots of trash cans here and there over the years. 

Let’s see – he has a trash can for his mulch that he uses outside.  He has, at times, had three trash cans outside – at the same time.  One was for little sticks; one was for little round seeds that fell from the Golden Rain Tree where he sat; and one was for the mulch that he broke into tiny pieces.  There he sat, with three trash cans perched around him.  Quite a sight for the neighbors, let me tell you. 

In addition to his mulch trash can, he also has his two couponing trash cans that I pictured in the Couponing blog.  Only Aaron knows why he takes some of the strips of paper as he cuts coupons and snips them into very small pieces that go in one trash can, and then takes other strips of paper and cuts them larger to go into the other container. 

Then there is the trash can in his room.  The other day, Aaron saw an unopened video that I had just received in the mail the day before.  He loves opening videos for us.  He uses his Swiss Army knife to cut open the plastic and then removes the sticky strip on the video.  When he saw the video on the counter, he eagerly asked if he could open it for me.  When I said yes, he turned and with great purpose he clomped up the stairs to his room and soon returned with his knife:

And of course, with his trash can.  The plastic wrap and sticky strip from the video cannot go into the kitchen trash can.  Do not ask me why.  These items cannot go into the mulch trash can, of course, and certainly not into his tiny-cut couponing trash can or into his larger-cut couponing trash can.  Video plastic wrap and sticky strip only go into his bedroom trash can. 

Aaron performed his mission of opening the video and depositing the plastic and the sticky strip into the appropriate trash can, and then carrying the trash can and knife back up to his room.  Another job done Aaron’s way.  Another glimpse into his interesting mind. 

Aaron is very fascinated with alcohol – the kind you drink.  I guess it’s because we don’t drink and anything that we DON’T do holds special fascination for Aaron.  Check out my blog from our trip in Sept. – the Yo-Ho-Ho blog. 

Anyway, lately he’s seen the Applebees commercial on television for their new entree – the Double Barrel Whiskey Sirloins.  He doesn’t care that they are Double, or that they are Barrel, or that they are Sirloins.  He ONLY cares that they contain Whiskey. 

Last night as we watched some football…………..btw, the team I was voting for lost………………..the interesting Applebees commercial came on.   Aaron perked right up.  He listened intently.

“MOM!!!!  Does that meat have Whiskey Beer on it?!!”

Whiskey Beer? 

So I discussed how you can marinade meat in alcohol to tenderize it, or use alcohol in the sauce on top, and how when you cook something in alcohol, the alcohol all evaporates.  None of which he was particularly interested in.

“So Mom – can I order Double Barrel Whiskey Sirloins the next time I go to Applebees?” 

There is his bottom line.  He would actually waver from his usual Biggest Hamburger on the menu choice or Chicken Tenders that he triple checks to see if they are boneless before ordering choice……..in order to have a little taste of the forbidden whiskey. 

Guess where he’ll want to go eat the next time we give him a choice?