Aaron and I were hurrying out the door a couple mornings ago so I could take him to Paradigm, his day group. I kept feeling like we were forgetting something. We were three miles from the house when I remembered what we forgot.
Aaron’s wallet!
He absolutely loves his almost daily excursion to Quik Trip, where with his seven dollars he has his pick of foods…mostly of the junk variety. Forgetting his wallet would not do! I could have given Aaron some money, but all I had was a $20 bill, and believe me when I say that Aaron would have spent $19.99 on that junk variety food.
I reassured a panicked Aaron that we would go back to get the wallet as I headed for the next exit. He was very relieved.
Immediately he reached over and turned off the music that was playing. I knew why he did that, but just to test my theory…or more like a confirmed fact based on years of solid experience…I slyly reached down after a few seconds and turned on the music.
He didn’t miss a beat and neither did Whitney Houston as his arm shot out and pushed that off button once more.
“I’ll turn the music back on after we get my wallet,” he informed me, not knowing that I could have told him that about himself.
This little episode is just one of the many ways that autism affects Aaron’s life. He lives by a strict set of rules that sometimes only he understands but that we must obey if his life…and therefore, ours…is to be happy.
He does this same thing as we go to Meals on Wheels every Thursday. He won’t play his music until we have picked up our food at the Senior Center and are actually beginning our route.
The wallet episode may have been a different situation, but the same rule applies. Our diversion to go back home for his wallet had interrupted our trip to Paradigm. This interruption was not a part of the actual drive. Since his music is to be played on the actual drive, that music must not be played on the non-actual drive.
Are you following?
If you lived with Aaron, you better be!
It’s a matter of principle with Aaron.
He follows this principle when we are watching a program. Aaron will have his snack ready. The bag or jar will be open. The plate of food will be placed on his ottoman or his lap. His napkins are nearby in their holder and his multiple pieces of silverware are ready to go. His drink and straw are within easy reach.
But nothing is touched until the first scene of the show…and most critical, the opening credits…are completed and the real honest-to-goodness show has begun.
I have sat nervously by as his ice cream started melting before he will pick up his spoon and start to eat.
It does no good for me to try to make Aaron hurry up and eat, or turn his music back on, or change any other scenario of his life in which this principle applies.
Not even my deep sighing has any effect on Aaron. He probably just thinks Mom is old and weird.
I love seeing these intricacies of the autistic mind that Aaron has. Even when his internal rules drive us crazy, they are still very fascinating to observe. And understanding those rules and allowing them when we can, makes Aaron’s life… and ours…much easier to navigate.
He not only follows the beat of a different drummer, but he also tells the drummer when he can beat his drum and when he can’t!
He Said What?! 
You may be fascinated by having a front row seat while witnessing the strict habits of Aaron’s autistic mind, but just reading about his behavior captivates me. Thank you, Patty, for sharing your dear son with your followers. 🙂
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Thank you, Nancy. Aaron, and so many others like him, are incredibly fascinating. I sometimes need to remind myself of that when the fascination turns into aggravation. :).
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I wonder if all Autistic people have the same set rules.
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Some may be similar but each is also unique. We know several autistic individuals and no two are the same in what their “rules” are.
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It would be great if school teachers read your blog! It would add so much to their understanding of their students with autism. Blessings, Patty!
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I would love that! Have a wonderful weekend, Cindy.
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Aaron’s rules are quite fascinating. Preferences on steroids! (God bless you, Patty, for being so accommodating.)
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His rules really are very interesting. I do respect his decisions on how to live his life in most areas. And if I don’t accommodate I may pay a big price with a very angry Aaron!
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I love the way your understand Aaron’s need for his rules to be followed! That is so good for him, and so kind of you.
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Thanks, Ann. I so try to give him respect. And selfishly, life is easier for all of us of we don’t break his rules if at all possible. ☺️
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Nothing selfish about keeping peace in the family!
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That’s true!
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Patty, I love when you open our understanding through your years of insight and experience with Aaron. It provides a new perspective about others on the Autism spectrum who have similar traits. Thank you for your kindness in sharing and thus educating us. God bless you for being a peacemaker with Aaron.
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Thank you for that, Manette. I’ll be honest and say sometimes I wish I didn’t have all this experience but I know that God put us where we are and I want to use it to help others.
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Oh yes if it’s all according to these special guys’ plans then it’s all okay BUT if not you better look out!! Not everyone can handle Jeffery when he’s on his own agenda and I’m sure you can attest to the same with Aaron!!
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Oh yes, if you had seen me this morning you would know that sometimes even I struggle with Aaron’s way of seeing the world. It’s a game of Connect the Dots and man, sometimes I can’t even find the dots, much less the numbers!! 🙂
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🤣🤣🤣❤️yup I understand!!
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