The M&M’s

I was sitting at my desk the other morning when in rushed Aaron.

“Here, Mom!”             

And with that, he reached over to place a handful of M&M’s in a little pile on my desk.  Some stuck to his hand, so he wiggled his fingers to dislodge them as I winced…which of course he didn’t notice.

“Eat them!” he commanded as he stood there waiting for me to obey.

I never know where Aaron’s hands have been.  All I could see in that colorful pile was bacteria of all sorts.  And I’m supposed to put those in my mouth?!

This happens routinely in our home…Aaron sharing his food treasures with us.  And routinely I pray for God’s protection as I put a fake smile on my face and gingerly place the bacteria-laden morsel in my mouth. 

Aaron would not take no for an answer, so in went an M&M.  And Aaron laughed happily as he stood there rubbing those suspicious hands together, totally full of joy as he watched my reaction and then tromped out of the room, mission accomplished.

Thank you, Lord, for this strong immune system that you have given me.

Our day soon began with a visit to his Epileptologist, where Aaron always makes himself quite at home on the exam table and makes the doctor very nervous that he will fall off the table. 

Afterwards, we joined Aaron’s case manager at Carlos O’Kelly’s for his annual Person-Centered Support Plan meeting.  Aaron only loves chomping down on chips and salsa, enchiladas, and of course his “…side salad with NO croutons and TWO ranches!!”  All the talk of his support plan, likes and dislikes, behaviors, goals, and plans are of exactly zero interest to Aaron.  

As we left the restaurant, I asked Aaron if he needed to use the bathroom.  He said no.  So, we zipped into the Dollar Tree nearby for a few items…where Aaron did have a bathroom crisis…and I’ll leave it there.  

Sigh.

We got home in one piece but frayed and frustrated with the situation and with each other.  I wish I could tell you how to handle it all like I did, with grace and supreme patience and amazing kindness.

But I do know that lying is a sin.

Another sigh.

Later, I walked to my desk and saw that little pile of colorful M&M’s.  I sat down and ate a few.

And I remembered this verse:

“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials.”  (James 1:2)  

Guess what that word “various” means?

Multi-colored.

In just the span of a few hours, Aaron shared himself in several varied ways…multi-colored, you could say.  Some fun…some pleasant…some stressful.

I don’t mean to suggest that living with Aaron is a trial, but sometimes it is.  Any parent/caregiver knows that the days can be long and full of many emotions.

I call it the highs and the lows.

That word “consider” means to make a mental judgment.  So I must, at some point, corral my thoughts and mentally choose to see the trials as having purpose in my life.  

And to choose joy, as this verse says and as I have written about even recently.

“Our Sovereign oversees the trial itself and oversees us IN the trial, so it strengthens and deepens our faith.”   (Daniel Doriani)

I stared down at that little stack of M&M’s after the challenges of this one day.  And I ate some of them…praying again.  

I partake of what Aaron gives to me, in all the colors involved.  

It’s up to me to choose how I respond, especially in my long-term endurance of daily life with Aaron.

Two days after our full day of ups and downs, Aaron and I stood in the home of a dear Meals on Wheels client.  Aaron began digging into his shorts pocket.  Soon he pulled out an M&M.  

ONE lone M&M.

“Here!” he excitedly said to Edna.  “I brought you this!”

And he laid the one little M&M on the table beside her chair.  Just one.

She laughed with delight and thanked him profusely while he grinned from ear to ear, rubbing those hands of his together in pure joy.

Then yesterday, while Gary sat beside my desk and we talked, he looked down at the floor.

“What’s that?” he asked as he pointed to the floor.

There, beside a chair, was one little green M&M.  It had probably fallen off Aaron’s sticky hand.

Evidence that Aaron had been there, leaving me with his heartfelt gift.

The evidence of Aaron’s place and impact in our lives is scattered here and there over every page all through these years.  

One little piece, placed here and put there.

Multi-colored.

Designed by God.  

Producing a beautiful picture of joy and grace if I but choose to see it in that light.  

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Author: Patty hesaidwhatks

I'm Patty and I write about our adult son who has Epilepsy and Autism, who still lives with my husband and me, and who is a package full of many surprises and joys and challenges and TALK! Lots of talking, which creates laughter and some other reactions as well. I also write about how God shows Himself to me in everyday life.

22 thoughts on “The M&M’s”

  1. Aaron’s endearing propensity to leave little gifts for others as a gesture of gratefulness, or to give someone a favorite treat to share his joy, reminds me of those amazing crows that will befriend/thank people the same way.

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  3. Oh Patty, I can definitely relate to seeing the M&Ms as bacteria-laden 😅, but how sweet of him to share.

    I love how you end up saying it’s truly dependent on us how we choose to see trials. May I always see them as building in me patience and endurance.

    Thank you Patty 🤗

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    1. Sometimes he sets the table before we eat and I always tell him to wash his hands first, and he always says he did wash his hands. Then I tell him washing his hands a couple hours ago doesn’t count NOW! 😆 Yes, our choice about how we see our trials isn’t always easy but it’s important in our growth. Have a very blessed day, Funmi!

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  4. Beautiful post Patty. I know that even when there is frustration with some aspects of taking care of Aaron you
    always seem able to morph it eventually into “joy and grace”. This is what makes your blogs so uplifting for me.

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  6. Patty, this post has such a poetic element to it. Your lesson from a pile of Aaron’s M&M’s has brought such depth to James 1:2. I especially love your words, “I partake of what Aaron gives to me, in all the colors involved. It’s up to me to choose how I respond, especially in my long-term endurance of daily life with Aaron.” If you were my neighbor, I’d be leaving on your porch a bouquet of multi-colored Zinnias along with a pack of M&M’s.

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    1. Oh Beth, how sweet of you! I really would love for you to be my neighbor, and it’s for reasons that go far beyond flowers and M&M’s. Although finding those on my porch would be pretty awesome! 😍😍 Fellowship with you would be the best!

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  7. Such a beautifully-written post, Patty. You practically made poetry out of Aaron’s gift-giving habits and M & M episodes! You are an amazing woman, determined as you are to find the joy hiding among the frustration and exhaustion. P.S. Tell Aaron he looks great in those sunglasses!

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  8. Beautiful, Patty. You are always a huge inspiration to me! I especially like the thought of multi-colored trials. But as you say, if we choose to look for them, these trials also bring multi-colored blessings and joy!!

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  9. What a sweet and colorful post!! I love the way God lays a message of hope on your heart throughout life with Aaron, I also love and appreciate your desire to share it with your readers.
    …kind of craving M&M’s now…

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