Before I write this blog, I need to give a little background on two issues with Aaron. First, Aaron has a very special friend at Paradigm named Rosie. I wrote several blogs about Aaron and Rosie, and how Aaron was (and is) so happy about their friendship. Yet he also had to figure out the boyfriend/girlfriend thing, so we had many discussions about that topic. It’s been so sweet and so interesting. I believe that Aaron understands that he and Rosie are good friends, and that their relationship doesn’t have to be anything beyond that.
|Aaron and Rosie|
Here are three links to blogs about Aaron and Rosie.
The other issue to mention is how Aaron views the delicate word……sex. He knows there’s something about that word. He has asked us, even recently, if the word “sex” is a bad word. We have told him that it is not a bad word at all.
“Then is sexy a bad word?” he asked. And we assure him that “sexy” is not a bad word. We have given him as much information as we think he needs, which is very minimal. He never speaks of girls as being sexy or pretty. He doesn’t turn to look at girls in a store or on television, but he does know that some things are inappropriate. Like one night when a commercial came on with scantily clad girls and Aaron said, “That’s not good for me, is it Mom?”
Now when we watch Wheel of Fortune and Aaron sees a couple hug or kiss, he softly says, in his monotone voice, “Sexy.” If a contestant hugs Pat because they won a trip, Aaron once again says, “Sexy.” Basically anytime he sees two people hug or kiss, I know that I’ll hear that deep, monotone voice very matter-of-factly say, “Sexy.” It’s really funny, but I know better than to make a big deal out of it.
So why am I writing all this? Well, there is a client at Paradigm that Aaron has known for a long time. I will call her Jane, though that is not her real name. Jane is 10 years older than Aaron, and is very caring and kind. Lately she has been extra attentive and nice to Aaron. She more or less mothers him in many respects, helping him on days that he is sad or angry. Aaron has had some struggles over the past few months, so Jane has been there with encouraging words and assurances of her friendship. She is higher functioning than Aaron, so that along with being older has made her a nurturing friend to Aaron.
Aaron thinks that a huge part of his being a friend to someone involves him giving that person things. He gave Rosie all the crayons in our house over a period of time because Rosie loves crayons. He loves to bring Rosie snacks and drinks and pictures that we sometimes print from the computer. And money. Aaron has given away money many times, not only to Rosie but to other friends at Paradigm as well.
So lately Aaron has been buying things for Jane with some of his spending money while they’re at Paradigm. Their deepening friendship has prompted Aaron’s giving spirit to be aimed now at Jane. One day I let Aaron buy two Gatorade’s at Dillon’s on our way to meet his group. When he got to Paradigm and handed one of the drinks to Jane, she was so happy that she leaned over and gave Aaron a kiss on the cheek.
Just a little kiss…….but oh, it was not little to Aaron. It became THE kiss, and quite a topic of conversation when Aaron burst in the door that evening.
“Mom! I gave Jane a Gatorade and do you know what she did?”
He waited for me to say that I did not know what she did.
And breathlessly……really……he continued, “She KISSED me on the cheek!!”
I assured him that Jane was just being nice……that it didn’t mean anything.
Aaron was not so sure.
“When Jane kissed me, she made me think I’m being sexy.”
I again said with fake confidence that I was positive that Jane was just being nice………a friendly kind of nice, you know.
Good grief. How do I explain this?
“So I’m not being sexy?” Aaron asked.
No, Aaron. You’re not being sexy. Jane was just very happy about her drink and she was thanking you. She’s just sweet that way.
Well, days passed……..and every single day, Aaron has talked about Jane and how nice she is to him. I’ve talked to Barb at Paradigm, and I understand that Jane is older and wiser than Aaron……..in a good way, HaHa! And we are sure that Jane is simply being motherly and kind to Aaron.
On the way to Paradigm yesterday, Aaron started talking once again about Jane…….and THE kiss.
“Mom, I just wonder……….do I HAVE to be her boyfriend?”
That’s more like the Aaron we know. Deep sigh of relief………I hope.
No, Aaron, you do not HAVE to be Jane’s boyfriend. She just wants to be friends and so you don’t need to worry.
This statement seemed to please Aaron. I’m not totally sure yet, but I think Aaron really just wants to be friends as well. All this boyfriend stuff is too complicated and confusing to Aaron, it seems.
At least I hope that’s the case.
Aaron being sexy?
Oh dear is putting it mildly!