Sometimes I wonder how honest to be in my blog. Not that I don’t tell the truth about Aaron – he truly is all the things I write about. Most of the time we laugh – or we roll our eyes in frustration when he’s annoying. Like last night at supper. Andrew is home from college for Fall Break, so we wanted to catch up with his life. Aaron likes dominating the conversation. He very much fits the characteristic of Asperger’s Syndrom that states “persons with Asperger’s are extremely egocentric.” And he’s honest about it. When he found out that Andrew was coming home he was disappointed and then told me, as he often has, “Mom, when Andrew’s here all you want to do is talk to him. I want you to talk to me.” We chuckle, Aaron and I, and talk about that. But deep in his heart he means it. Andrea has become a mother figure to him – Andrew is his competition.
So at supper last night he tried to dominate the conversation with talk of movies, movie characters, friends from his group, and whatever else crossed his mind. We listened and then someone else talked awhile, and you could fairly feel Aaron nearly bursting with all the things that HE wanted to say. He shoveled his food in but every little bit he let out an “Uh” as he tried to break into the conversation. We just had to keep going, and then later pause to allow him to talk – about something totally irrelevant to what we were saying or irrelevant to life in general. Global warming? The Bermuda Triangle? Really, Aaron?
This morning Aaron didn’t actually shower but tried to convince me that he did. When I challenged him he got mad, slammed my bedroom door, and then went back into the bathroom to shower. Another fact of Asperger’s – “Rage reactions/temper outbursts are common in response to stress/frustration.” The same could be said for me in response to Aaron sometimes. Yet I know that I must be calm, because my escalation only causes him to escalate, and the result is NOT pleasant. The break while he’s gone to his group is good for both of us. Later we will talk, and Aaron will be sorry. He’s already sorry – I could tell by how nice he was trying to be before we left for his group. I love him so much – but on some occasions it’s hard to like him.
But this afternoon he’ll bound in the door, telling me about the movie they went to watch and all the buttered popcorn he ate and whether he was also able to get a chocolate ice-cream concoction and wonder if he’ll get a stomach ache and ask me if he’s losing weight and remind me to tell him if we can play Skip-Bo later. Life with Aaron – predictable, funny, frustrating.
I do love that boy – who is really a man but to me is my special boy.