He Said What?!

Yesterday when Gary and I left church we ran a couple of errands.  We also decided to eat lunch at Olive Garden.  I’ve just returned from a week at camp, so the time alone with Gary was very nice.  I really enjoyed our lunch……..the good food, uninterrupted conversation, and just time alone with my husband.  Later in the day, Aaron was hungry and asked if he could have some Taco Bell.  He and I jumped in the car while Gary was watering some new grass.  Aaron and I stopped to throw some newspapers in the recycling bin, pick up a prescription, and finally ended up at the Taco Bell drive-through to buy his supper.  Aaron wanted to know if I was getting any food, but I told him that I wasn’t really hungry.

On the drive home, Aaron asked why I didn’t buy any Taco Bell food.  I again told him that I wasn’t hungry.  I felt like I knew where this conversation was headed.  Aaron was pondering about why I wasn’t hungry.  He was wondering what I had eaten and when I had eaten that would cause me to not be hungry at this time of day.  I wasn’t trying to hide anything from Aaron, necessarily, but I just didn’t want to make a big deal out of the fact that Gary and I had eaten out……….without Aaron.

Therein lies the problem……….we ate out without Aaron.  And sure enough, as Aaron and I played a game of Skip-Bo before bed, Aaron brought the subject up again.  “Mom, at Taco Bell, why didn’t you get food?”  I repeated to him that I wasn’t hungry, even as I knew that now we would face this issue head on.

Aaron continued to probe.  “Did you eat?”  I told him that I had indeed eaten.  And he asked, “So what did you eat?”  I’m not going to lie, and therefore I told him that his dad and I had eaten lunch out.

“Where did you eat?” he wanted to know.  Funny how I was feeling like a delinquent teenager who had to give an account to his parents for going somewhere that he should not have gone.  Feeling badly now, I told Aaron that we had gone to eat at Olive Garden.  He then gave me a look that touched my heart.  And his words………oh my!

“You should have told me.  I would have gone.  Didn’t you want me?”

Stabs of guilt pierced my heart.  Aaron’s shoulders slumped some, and I was initially feeling miserable at this turn in his mood and this sadness when he spoke.  “Oh Aaron,” I assured him, “Your dad and I would have loved to have you go with us.  It’s not that we didn’t want you…….but sometimes Dad and I need time together, too.”

Aaron seemed to accept this explanation, and his mood lifted as we continued to play Skip-Bo and talk about other things.  He had no idea of how badly I felt………how conflicted.  This conflict is one that any parent of a special needs child feels, especially an “adult child” that can put two and two together enough to know when he is being left out.  For this is how Aaron sees this situation.  He is simple in his thinking and very egocentric.  He is being left out of an event that he loves………eating out………….with people that he loves to be with.  He doesn’t understand the relationship of husband and wife.  He doesn’t understand or care about the fact that Gary and I relish some time to be alone and to be “normal.”

Gary and I both have to balance our own relationship against that of our relationship with Aaron.  This is paramount for any couple with children, and I believe especially important for those who parent special children who take so much time and energy.  Gary and I are in a place in life when parents are typically experiencing empty nests.  I’ve written about that before (Our Nest).  We don’t know how long we will have Aaron at home with us.  We do know that Aaron is smart enough to piece together that we went to a restaurant without him when we could have taken him.  We do know that Aaron feels hurt about being left out.  We do know that Aaron knows how to make us feel guilty, whether intentional or not.  And we do know that we must not let this guilt rob us of our relationship with each other.

We can explain these issues to Aaron and we can assure him of our love, but we must never sacrifice our bond in an effort to always include Aaron.  There’s a balance to be kept on both sides.  It would be wrong for Gary and I to be so absorbed in each other that we neglected Aaron.  Likewise, it would be equally wrong to be so taken up with Aaron and his needs that we neglected our own time and growth together.  Thankfully, neither Gary nor I are ones that feel a need for constant attention or big trips together or going out every weekend.  A dinner alone here several times a week is a respite for us, a time to recharge and converse and connect.  It’s really a matter of the mind more than anything.

And sometimes those mind games can be very tricky.  I refuse to feel guilty for enjoying time alone with my husband………time without Aaron.  Time without listening to him talk of his latest movie, of something he has read, of what someone said, of the weather, of what time he went to bed and what time he got up, of global warming, of icebergs, of what food he’s eaten, of cavemen, of the legend of the trash men or the legend of the beagles, of the medium window he broke…………..I could go on and on just like Aaron does!

Sometimes Gary and I run out of things to talk about.  Maybe we need Aaron around more than we realize!

I just returned home yesterday from a week at our church youth camp down in Davis, Oklahoma.  I’m one of the cooks.  The week is full of laughter, fellowship with my cooking buddies, hugs from the youth, sore feet, and many special memories that are made.  This is our fourth year of camp, and each year I’m so grateful to Gary for making it possible for me to go.  Sometimes he has taken vacation the week I am gone, or Andrea has been here to help with things.  This year Gary did not take vacation and Andrea is no longer living here.  Aaron was able to handle his mornings just fine, though.  He knows the routine for the couple hours that he was here before his day group staff, Cody, picked him up.

There was one morning that wasn’t too smooth, though.  On Wednesday, Aaron was apparently throwing his back scratcher down the stairs like a Frisbee, he said.  We’re not exactly certain how it all happened, but the small window in the door broke.  Aaron ended up calling Gary, who came home from work to help clean up the mess.  Thankfully things worked out fine and hopefully Aaron learned a lesson.  Probably not, but we can still hope.

Usually when I’m gone, Aaron will call my cell phone repeatedly…………but this time, I didn’t hear from Aaron all week.  Until Friday afternoon.  Aaron was still at his day group and Krysten let him borrow her cell phone………..I hope she let him borrow it.  He’s been known to help himself to phones.  Anyway, my phone rang and I knew when I saw the name on the phone that it was probably Aaron.  I answered anyway.  And was I surprised!

“Mom!  I miss you!!”

Wow!  Was this Aaron?  Or just someone who sounded like Aaron?  Usually when I answer the phone, even when I’ve been gone, he launches right into some grand story without saying anything personal at all.

So I responded, “Aw, Aaron, I’ve missed you too!”

He chuckled, unsure of how to accept those words.

“So Mom, when are you coming home?”

“I’m coming home tomorrow, Aaron!”  And he quickly asked, “What time?”  It’s very important for Aaron to have details.  Tomorrow has many hours and he feels a need to know the time.  I told him that I wasn’t exactly sure, but that didn’t work.

“But what time?” he asked again.  So I told him an approximate time.  He was content with that.  Then I fully expected a food question, but he went on to tell me about his day at the movies………….and eventually, he got the dreaded Wednesday morning incident off his chest.

“Mom, I was throwing my back scratcher down the stairs like a Frisbee.”

I told him that I knew about that.  We talked about not throwing things, etc.  And he asked, “But don’t you throw a Frisbee?”

Yes, Aaron…….but the back scratcher is not a Frisbee……….and even if it was, we don’t throw Frisbees in the house.

“Well, I threw it like a Frisbee and it broke the medium window in the door.”

Dad told me about the medium window, Aaron.  As we talked he was feeling relieved, I’m sure, to have this conversation out in the open before I came home.  We finished talking as I told him that I had to go.  And the next day, just as soon as I walked into the house, I heard him lumbering up the stairs.  He had video game codes on his mind and didn’t give me a hug right away, but finally at Gary’s reminder, Aaron gave me a sideways Aaron hug.

And soon after that, he asked the question he had been saving all along.

“Mom!  What’s for supper?”

Now that’s my Aaron!  I missed you, Aaron!

  

Saturday morning I decided to run Aaron down to Great Clips for a much needed hair cut.  I hoped that we would beat the crowd, and thankfully we did.  As the worker there looked Aaron’s name up on the computer, I realized she was glancing nervously at Aaron.  The hair dresser who would cut his hair and trim his beard also had the same reaction.  Oh brother!  It always amazes me how I can tell in just a few seconds whether someone will “get” Aaron or not.  I was fairly certain that these two girls were in the “not” category.  I was right.

Aaron was delighted that he didn’t even have to sit in a chair to wait for his turn.  “Here Mom!” he said as he took his glasses off and handed them to me.  Then he took his treasured ring off is finger for me to also hold.  Good grief!  I was wondering if his shirt was next!  Those nervous girls were taking it all in, becoming even more nervous.  I smiled.  Just be yourself, Aaron.  Yet Aaron can also sense when someone doesn’t understand him, so he was very quiet.  The girl didn’t engage him in any conversation whatsoever while she quickly cut his hair and trimmed his goatee.  Her loss, for sure.  We were both glad to escape and head on over to Dillons for a few groceries.

I was checking out the cantalopes and Aaron spied the artichokes.  He quickly grabbed one and loudly said, “Mom!  Remember these?”  He was so happy with his find that I just had to snap a picture and laugh with him at this most unusual vegetable that he has always loved.  Always, always, Aaron loves the unusual.  He IS unusual, so it fits!

Up another aisle, Aaron was once again amazed at his find.  Cactus in a jar!  Another exclamation and another picture, and something to talk about for the entire weekend.  His day group will no doubt hear all about it today, too.  Later, as I stood in an aisle visiting with a neighbor, Aaron was spying all the wonderful finds in the meat department.  I had one eye on him and one on my neighbor, who smiled as Aaron brought me some Brats to examine, another package of yet different brats, and then I heard, “Ewwwww!!”  Of course, he found a Leg of Lamb that really did look like a leg of a lamb…………..and this was indeed a great discovery of grossness to pick up and show us!

I leave with our church group today for camp, where I and my buddies will don our camp cook aprons.  I’ll miss Aaron and his enthusiasm.  I will not miss his whacks on the back or thumps on the head.  Last night as I told him goodbye and goodnight, and was closing his door, he said, “Goodnight Sweetie!”

That’s Aaron for you!

Aaron bounded in the door today and saw me in the kitchen right away.  “Mom!  I ate two large buttered popcorns at the theater……and a Twizzlers……….and I have acid now!”  So started another “Aaron is home!” moment…………or a couple hours, actually.  He seemed even more talkative than usual today, if that’s even possible.  So many subjects……….so much to say……….and he doesn’t care how much time it takes.

He was very excited that one of his day program staff’s children came to his day group today, and that they brought their little dog.  At least I think the people that came were Barb’s children.  “Mom, Barb’s sister was at Paradigm today.  Or was it her child?”  I asked how old this person was and Aaron said she was young, or maybe a teenager, so I told Aaron that this girl must have been Barb’s daughter.  He continued to talk about the little dog and the daughter (I think), and then paused and asked, “So is she her child?  Or sister child?”  You know, Aaron’s family tree must have lots of twists and turns!  Where would you put a sister child?

I went to pay for some repairs on Gary’s truck, and then to go get Gary at work.  Aaron wanted to ride along………and talk……….talk………..talk………  As we walked into the service center, I told Aaron to be quiet.  I walked up to the counter and one of the mechanics was on the phone, bent over at the counter talking and so of course didn’t acknowledge us.  Aaron stood there about 5 seconds, and then said, “Hey!”

Aaron!!  He’s on the phone!  I said to be quiet!

So Aaron decided that being quiet didn’t mean to not speak, but it meant that he could speak…………in a whisper.  He whispered, “Well, I was trying to get his attention.”  And I found myself whispering back, “He can’t talk to us when he’s on the phone.”  The manager came out then and waited on us, and as I was taking care of the bill, Aaron was still making his whispered comments.  “Mom,”  he said in his hushed tone, “those are some big tires on the wall.”

“Yes, they are,” I whispered back.  Good grief!  Why was I whispering, too?  I felt like we were in a library or a funeral home!  The manager smiled and I explained that I had told Aaron to be quiet and I paid as we had a nice normal, unwhispered conversation, and we left before Aaron tried to get anyone else’s attention.  He doesn’t have to work hard at that, believe me!

As we drove and as we waited on Gary later, Aaron had lots to tell me.  Remember how I talked about Aaron and his way of trying to figure out where people are from?  Today he said, “Mom, there’s a staff at Paradigm named Boo…..”  and Aaron proceeded to tell me something that Boo had said.  I was still back on that name.  I have no idea if that’s his name or how it’s spelled, but Aaron insisted that his name is Boo.  And of course Aaron had to add, speaking of Boo, “He’s a Spanish kind of way……….or Chinese, Korean, or Japanese.”

Oh brother……….here we go again!  I am not listening anymore!

He talked about our Great Dane not listening to him.  Aaron’s right……….Jackson doesn’t listen to or obey Aaron.  Much like me.  And Aaron said, “Is Jackson dumb?”  I reminded him that Jackson is certainly not dumb, and that I’ve told him not to say that he’s dumb.  I told Aaron that sometimes Jackson is stubborn, but not dumb.  So Aaron asked, “Well, is being stubborn a reason to say he’s dumb?”

Speaking of stubborn………….

This morning I told about how Aaron was talking about Gary living on a farm when he was young.  I don’t know what it is, but Aaron keeps going on and on about farms.  We were driving home and Aaron pointed up to a housing area.  “Mom, have you been in that neighborhood?  It’s a farm area!”

Well, look Aaron…………we’re home now!  See you later!  I need to finish supper.  Alone, I thought to myself.  Please let it be alone for at least a few minutes.  My head was full of all his chattering and whispering and questioning.  But my mouth had a smile, too, because with Aaron there is always something to learn or to laugh about or to understand or to see in a different way.

And the fun memory of turning our music up loud in the van and holding our hands up in the peace sign as we bounced to the music, with Aaron laughing and saying, “I hope there’s no policeman around!”

Me too, Aaron, me too.  I can only imagine what Aaron would tell him before I told him to whisper!

P.S.  Aaron just came downstairs to tell Gary about Barb’s family that came to Paradigm with the little dog.  He was once again struggling with the relationship.  “Mom!  They were Barb’s teenager children, right?  Or her brother and sister?”   Is there a Relatives 101 course I could enroll him in, I wonder?

 

Aaron has always been greatly interested in the fact that during part of Gary’s childhood, he lived in the country on a small farm.  They had a garden, of course…………nearly everyone did.  And they had some animals………some chickens, a few cows………you know, just a nice country setting in the mountains of North Carolina.  Every now and then, Aaron will talk once more about Dad living on a farm when he was young.  He wants to know what it was like, what animals they had, what did they grow, etc.  In fact, just the other night at supper he was talking about it once again.  He just really is fascinated with that aspect of Gary’s life.

This morning, Aaron was talking to me as I got ready and he said, “Mom, Dad lived on a farm when he was young, right?”

Yes, Aaron, he lived on a farm.

And he continued: “I told John at Paradigm that Dad was a farmer!”

I envisioned John thinking that Aaron’s Dad had been a farmer like a Kansas farmer, with thousands of acres.

So I reminded Aaron that it was a small farm, and he asked, “So what do SMALL farmers do?”

And I had to explain the difference in being a small farmer and being a big farmer, wondering all along why this subject holds so much interest for Aaron.  I guess he just can’t imagine his Dad hanging out with cows, or pigs, or chickens.

As if to prove my point, Aaron then asked, “Mom, did Dad have roosters?”

I said that yes, I am sure they had some roosters.

“Mom, you know what I don’t like about roosters?”

What don’t you like about roosters, Aaron?

“I don’t like the way they act in the mornings!”

I allowed myself a loud cackle at that statement!  So funny!  Aaron reminded me that Aunt Sandra’s neighbor has roosters and that they are TOO loud in the mornings!

So we need to see if before our next trip home, someone can straighten up those rooster’s morning behavior! Get on it, Sandra!

So often Aaron’s honesty in his comments can nearly take our breath away…………sometimes because we’re fighting the desire to speak as honestly with him as he does with us……….or because we’re laughing so hard.  He just doesn’t seem to “get it.”  Or just doesn’t care.  It’s hard to tell with Aaron.

Aaron likes to read at night before he goes to bed.  It’s actually the only time during the day that he will sit down and read a book.  We’ve tried and tried to get him to read at other times during the day, but in Aaron’s rigid world the time for reading is only at night.  He has his bed just right, with pillows here and pillows there……….and always his back scratcher by his side……….don’t ask my why.  He will read one of his Handy Answer Books until he gets sleepy.  The other night I walked in to tell him good night and there he was, with his opened Handy Answer Book on his lap…………and leaning over with his eyes closed.  Good grief!  He looked like a dead body, honestly, which can be a little shocking to this tired mom at the end of the day.  At any time of day, actually……..but I certainly react differently when I’m tired.

I touched him and he stirred, so I said, “Aaron, you need to close your book and go to bed.  You’re falling asleep while you’re sitting up.”  And of course, he had one more small section to read because he just HAD to finish that certain part.  He read it quickly and then packed it up and went to bed.

The next day I told him that he needed to start his bedtime routine earlier.  He has been trying to do this………trying to start reading earlier so that he can read longer and still go to sleep earlier.  On Saturday evening, during supper, he said, “Mom, you know how you told me to start reading early and then going to sleep?”

Yes, Aaron.  I remember telling you that.

“Well, you’re either right or you’re wrong.”

That was it.  He just had to tell me that I was either right or wrong about that subject.  The jury was still out on this matter, according to Aaron, and he wasn’t sure if my advice was working for him or not.  Gary, Andrea, and I had to laugh at how matter-of-fact he was.

Right or wrong.  The end.

The other night he said something that I know all kids would love to say to their parents.  He asked me a certain question about something and as I was thinking of how to answer him, I said, “Well, Aaron, it’s hard to explain.”

And he said, “Oh come on, Mom!  Just tell me without explaining!”

Hmmmmm………….now wouldn’t that just cut out a lot of MY words and leave more time for Aaron to talk?!

That seems right or wrong to me.

As I’ve written before, Aaron has an interest in where people are from based on their skin color or their accents or some other feature that peaks his interest.  For instance, I blogged in the past about the time that he kept telling me about his new driver in his day group – (Where is He From?  Dec 30, 2011).    He was sure that she was African…………and then I met her and was sure that she was NOT African.  Turns out she is from Vietnam. His attempt to identify people or languages or looks can be quite funny at times.

Even the movie that he’s looking forward to seeing more than any movie in the world right now, Transformers 4, has not escaped his attempt to figure out where some fine details of this fine movie originated from.  Take Unicron, for instance.  One day Aaron was, once again, attempting to describe and define Unicron’s facial characteristics.  “Mom, Unicron looks different.”

Personally, I don’t really care much about Unicron in any way but I know that off and on for the next 14 months we will be having these conversations………….so I may as well ask and get it over with.

How does Unicron look different, Aaron?

“Well, his face………..it’s not in the smoke way.”

I was not anywhere nearer an understanding of Unicron’s different looks now than I was before we began this conversation…………before AARON began this conversation………..but I just shook my head as if I understood.  Aaron proceeded:  “And Mom, could you tell that Unicron had a beard?”

I was trying to remember exactly what I observed when Aaron was gleefully sharing that Transformers 4 movie trailer with me, and all I could remember was looking at the little numbers that showed how long I was going to have to stand there and endure watching this yet-another movie trailer.

My hesitation at answering didn’t phase Aaron one bit.  It never does.  “Mom, what kind of beard do you think Unicron had?”

What kind of beard?  You know, Aaron, I just really don’t remember much about that beard.

And he continued:  “You know, that beard on his chin.  It looked like a Mexican beard!”

I am certain that there are many Mexican men whom Aaron has seen that have some sort of unique chin beard that Aaron identifies as being uniquely Mexican.  I am fairly clueless, but Aaron is sure of this fact and so I don’t disagree.  I just shake my head in some sort of understanding way that satisfies Aaron and allows us to end this conversation.

Aaron is also fascinated by a Mexican radio station that he has heard.  Every now and then he will walk up to my radio in the kitchen, and without permission he will begin to push the button in order to change the station. I know exactly where he is going with this.  Soon I hear the unmistakable sound of Mexican music, and Aaron laughs and rubs his hands together in excitement.  This occurred the other night………….again……….and Aaron happily asked me if I liked this music and did I understand what they were saying…….or singing.

“Mom, is this a Mexican station?  Or is that a Spanish station?”  This brought on a long discussion about the country of Mexico, but the language they speak is called Spanish.  No, Aaron, the language is not called Mexican…………it is Spanish…………and we had a little brief history lesson in the midst of the loud Mexican/Spanish music…………..with me knowing full well that Aaron wasn’t totally listening to me as he stood there rubbing his hands together amidst the sounds of trumpets and maracas.

He loves to identify flags from around the world on our large world map still hanging downstairs in our old schoolroom.  Which reminds me of the time years ago in the day school when Aaron said they were told to draw a flag……………and I looked down in horror to see the flag that Aaron had drawn………….the Nazi flag. We had seen a special on television and had studied this in history in home school and through normal exposures……………Aaron had decided that this flag was very interesting.  Oh my.  Well, it was simple to draw and it was at one time a flag………….but why is Aaron always drawn to the forbidden?  To the unacceptable?  Thus ensued another lesson and afterwards Aaron was more sure than ever that this was indeed a very interesting flag.  Sigh.

Last night Aaron thumped down the stairs and proceeded to tell me about a movie he was watching.  “Mom, this man on there has an accent.  It’s either country or continent!”

Did you say country or continent, Aaron?

“Yeah, it’s either country or continent.  I don’t know which yet.”

And later, he thumped down the stairs again to give me an update.  “Mom, I found out he’s Paris.  Is that Italian?”

Stifling laughter as I tried to answer this question was indeed difficult.  And slightly confusing, even to me.

Aaron is so global!  I just have a hard time following him!

Gary and I had a little get-away this past weekend.  We took a quick overnight trip up to Topeka to see our son, Andrew, at the NHRA Summer Nationals at Heartland Park.  He works on the pit crew for Scott Palmer whenever he has the opportunity between college and other responsibilities.  It was fun and interesting to go and watch him work on the top fuel dragster.  Andrea came home for the night on Friday to stay with Aaron.  Aaron was very excited about this.  He loves it when Gary and I are gone for awhile, and someone else is there with him.  I think he sees it as a new opportunity for the things he loves……….which would be food and talking.  Surely this new person will have new food ideas.  And surely this new person will LOVE hearing about all the things that Aaron LOVES talking about.

Of course, Andrea isn’t a new person.  She knows Aaron every bit as well as we do…………and she came anyway.  Way to go, Andrea!  She and I were texting while I was in Topeka, and we talked once.  Aaron kept trying to call me or Gary, but it’s very hard to hear anything at the race track.  Plus I knew what he wanted to talk about and I knew that it could wait.  Our catching up time would come soon enough………..and it did!  Andrea told me to be ready.  You see, Aaron went to the movies Friday with his group and saw the new movie, Battleship.  It doesn’t matter that the review I read was dismal and that the movie had a rating of only 1 1/2 stars.  To Aaron, Battleship is an epic movie…………and when Aaron watches an epic movie, we are all treated to a seemingly endless rerun of all its epicness…………over and over and over again.

Gary and I pulled into the driveway on Saturday evening and before I was out of the van, Aaron came through the garage door.  Of course, as always, there was no “Hi, Mom!”………or “Did you have a good trip?”………….or any other personal comments such as you would expect.  Of course, we don’t expect that from Aaron so it’s no shock or disappointment to us.   We would actually be shocked if he DID say one of those personal things to us!  So Aaron walked to the van and said, “Mom!  I went to see Battleship!”  Well, let’s not waste any time.  We may as well get to the point at hand right away.  After all, Aaron had been saving up his words and I had been saving up my ears.  There was no running away from it now.

As we unloaded the van, greeted big old Great Dane Jackson, and tried to put things away………Aaron was right there, and the commentary was in full swing.  “Mom, Battleship was a good movie!”   And I asked, “So you liked it, Aaron?”  Of course he answered…….”Yeah!  It was a big navy ship!  There were lots of weapons!”   On and on and on Aaron talked, following me as I put things away in the kitchen.  We hadn’t been home more than 15 minutes before I was upstairs staring at his computer screen as he showed me two clips from the Battleship movie on YouTube.  He loved the scene where they took the helmet off the alien and  shined a light in his eye, only to find that he wasn’t really dead, and he raised up off the table, and he grabbed the man by the throat, and everyone was yelling…………..including Aaron…………..and leaning over rubbing his hands together………….Aaron was, not the alien.  Oh my.  How soon would Monday come and Aaron would be going to his group?

We have talked………….actually, Aaron has talked and we have mostly listened…………to all sorts of rehashing of the Battleship movie.  Are the creatures aliens?  Or are the creatures Martians?  What is an alien?  What is a Martian?  Does an alien look like a bear?  Are those soldier guys in the Army or in the Navy or in the Marines?  Why would an alien want sharp teeth?  Would I want to watch Battleship?  When will Battleship be out on DVD?

And then there’s the soldier with the leg prosthesis…………both legs…………..and as Aaron talked about him, I told Aaron that he was a real-life soldier who really had lost his legs in battle.  Aaron doesn’t show much politeness, let’s say, when he talks about things such as this, so I mean no disrespect when I repeat what Aaron had to say.  He was very intrigued by this soldier who had lost his legs and he was especially interested in him after I told Aaron that he was a real soldier.  Aaron paused in thought for a second and then asked, “So, are those REAL fake legs?”  I answered yes, using the term prosthesis, but Aaron clomped downstairs quickly to tell Gary this amazing news.  He soon clomped right back up the steps to continue his movie review with me and said, “I told Dad that was a REAL man with the FAKE legs!”

Last night at supper, as Aaron chowed down on his second helping of Potato Salad and a chicken thigh……….boneless, the way he likes them………….he lowered his voice and in an almost hushed tone, he said, “Do you know what Andrea said?”  He paused and waited for an answer, so I told him no, that I didn’t know what Andrea had said………..and he continued, “Before she left, Andrea told me that it was nice to spend time with me.”  He is so touched by these words…………and so are we.  Aaron does know when he is loved and these words touch a chord in his heart.  How precious that Andrea said those words to him……..and how profound that his heart was touched.  We just never know all that goes on inside our Aaron.

But he does love to talk, and I think Aaron has caught us up on all the news there is to know………and most of it we really didn’t want to know, but I didn’t tell Aaron that.  Last night he and I played two games of Skip-Bo and he talked some more about Battleship…………..and the genetically altered Rats movie that he’s watching now and that I had to go watch a clip of (another story)…………….and many, many other issues that are of interest to Aaron.  Believe me, only to Aaron.  As I finished cleaning up the table and getting ready to fix the coffee pot for the next morning, Aaron sat on the ottoman in the family room……………talking………..even after I had told him to go on up and get ready for bed.

He asked, “Do you want me to just sit here and talk?”  I had to laugh.  He was so serious and so oblivious to my NOT wanting him to just sit there and talk.  It was after 10:00 and I was all talked out, believe me!  So I told him that even though that would be nice, it really was time to go to bed, for all of us………….and so finally he made his way upstairs to his toothbrush and minty mouthwash and his bed with the covers just the way he likes them in the proper order and his Handy Answer Book that he’ll read before he turns his lamp off and writes his going-to-sleep time in his notebook just right and then turns his monitor on for me to hear all night and settles down under his mound of covers with his head on his pillow that he makes sure has the zipper on the correct side……………yes, it’s nice to spend time with Aaron.

A little quiet time is nice, too.  Good night, Aaron.  Morning and more talking will come soon enough.