Mom’s Ways

Years ago, when we had a big family gathering in our West Virginia hometown, Mom had prepared a meal for us.  She decided to serve it buffet style.  The first person to go through the line was one of my nieces.  She scooped some rice onto her plate and then beside the rice she put the stew meat and gravy.  Back in the line, craning her neck to see, was our short little mother.  She saw my niece’s plate with the meat beside the rice.  Mom could not restrain herself.

“The meat goes ON the rice!” she exclaimed.

There was the typical eye rolling and many knowing smiles between us as Mom still felt that need to supervise this detail…a very important detail to her.  In my family, this comment and story has become one of our favorite sayings when we want something to be done a certain way.

The meat goes ON the rice!

Mom’s particular ways permeated our lives.  She was and still is the most energetic and organized woman I have ever known.  It wasn’t easy back in the 50’s to have four children in five years.  Then came Kathryn, our caboose, three years later.

Her ways of managing our home were as precise as she could make them during those very hectic years.  She had baskets of ironing for us to do with a piece of paper in each basket that held a name of one of us girls.  We had our chores to do and the day on which to do them.  She even taught us the best way to load dishes into the kitchen sink after dinner.  Wash the glasses first, then the silverware put just so along with the plates, and so forth.

She taught us how to fold laundry, including those dreaded fitted sheets.  Sorry, Mom, for the mess I still make with those sheets today.  Sometimes I feel like she’s craning her little neck from heaven, watching me struggle with that sheet and just shaking her head.

But over the years, with a family of my own, I do wonder how Mom did it all.  She made all our clothes, often late at night after we had gone to bed.  I still remember our kitchen table full of homemade rolls, cookies, pizza crusts, and so much more.  Our freezers were full of those goodies, ready to be used at a moment’s notice.  She canned and froze fruits and veggies from their garden.  All of this while working full time after we were all in school, eventually supervising the school lunch programs in thirteen West Virginia counties.

Mom’s ways of reaching beyond our home into the lives of others was amazing.  Our home was always open to our friends, to groups, and to pastors and missionaries.  In later years, she knit hundreds of Christmas stockings for so many people as well as her beautiful quilts.  She visited the sick, usually with flowers she had grown or food she had made.  

Mom’s ways of offering help to the struggling really spoke to me.  She didn’t judge those who had made mistakes in life but instead looked for ways she could help them and love them through their hard times.

But the most impacting of Mom’s ways, the one for which I am most thankful, is that every morning she made sure that we began the day in God’s word together as a family around our breakfast table.  Dad was already at work on those early mornings so she would lead us in reading Our Daily Bread and praying together.  

Throughout her life she consistently exhibited that the number one value in our lives was to live our lives for Christ and to trust Him in every situation.  We saw her follow her own advice without wavering as she cared for Dad until cancer took his life.  She continued her faithfulness even as Alzheimer’s took away her memory, her spunk, her humor and wit.  

Some of the last words she ever spoke was to softly sing:  

“Jesus, Jesus, Jesus;

Sweetest name I know.

Fills my every longing,

Keeps me singing as I go.”

So Mom, I not only honor you on this Mother’s Day but on every day as your ways continue to influence my own life…and hopefully the lives of our children. 

And for you, I will make sure that the meat goes ON the rice!

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Author: Patty hesaidwhatks

I'm Patty and I write about our adult son who has Epilepsy and Autism, who still lives with my husband and me, and who is a package full of many surprises and joys and challenges and TALK! Lots of talking, which creates laughter and some other reactions as well. I also write about how God shows Himself to me in everyday life.

23 thoughts on “Mom’s Ways”

  1. God blessed your dear mother with super powers! Her ability to multi task and do more in 24 hours than most can do in a week is astounding. You’re amazing mother found time for the Lord and raised her children upright. Happy Mother’s Day to you, Patty-you’re another amazing mom! 🙂

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      1. Thank you for the sweet card. You are a dear friend, filled with Godliness and wisdom. How I thank God for you.

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  5. Ahh what sweet memories and what a lasting legacy, most of all that she was pointing you to Jesus and strengthening your faith while she raised you…judging by your character your mom did well!!❤️

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  6. I too wonder how your mother did it all! And in that photo, she doesn’t look the least bit wearied by her life! That lovely smile is genuine, those pretty blue eyes sparkle with joy! I think our moms would have been friends–perhaps they ARE–in heaven!

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  8. This is so much like my mother, Patty. This is my mother’s legacy as well, in so many areas. Thanks for writing this. I’m going to share this with my siblings as we gather next month.

    We do things differently these days, but I hope we do them in the spirit of our mothers, with the motivation our mothers felt, and with the love for God that our mothers had.

    Thanks for writing this!

    I’m still coming to Kansas this summer, and it will be the August trip when I try to get to see you. My grandson’s wedding is August 16th, so I’ll be there either the week before or the week after. Do you have plans on either side of that weekend?

    It’s always good to read your posts. I am praying for you and your family.

    Hugs from Georgia, Cheryl

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    1. So thankful that you have a similar legacy, Cheryl. I love what you said about how we do things differently today but hope that we do them with the same love and motivation that our mothers had. As for your trip, as of right now I don’t have anything going in around those times. We’ll keep in touch. I would LOVE to get together!!

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  9. My mom was also very particular about how things were to be done. Growing up, it bugged me. But now, I’m thankful because I learned how to do things the right way (not to mention learning not to say “at” at the end of the sentence!) Did you know there’s a right and wrong way to put your toilet paper on the holder? 🤣 My sister and I both taught this to our daughters. One time, my niece was at someone’s house and the toilet paper was on the wrong way. She said she really wanted to fix it, but she didn’t! 🤣 We need more mothers who today who make sure their kids do what’s right. Thanks for sharing. Blessings, Patty!

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    1. I feel your niece’s pain! How many times I’ve wanted to straighten someone’s picture on their wall, put their couch pillow’s zipper on the bottom, or turn the lampshade so the seam is in the back. No doubt where I learned all that at! HaHaHa!!

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