Month: March 2012

Aaron has never shown a real interest in the opposite sex in the way that you would think a grown man would.  His actions are still more like a first grade boy who finds girls weird or giggles at the mention of anything to do with sex. 

I remember when he was very young, when the Anita Hill hearings were on TV, and we had the television on in our military quarters in Germany.  I was in the kitchen cooking and before we knew it, he had heard the word “sex.”  Why does that word instantly make a child’s ears perk up?!  Gary was sitting in the living room with Aaron and I heard Aaron ask, “Dad?!  What is sex?”  There was total quiet.  Then Aaron repeated the question………and again total quiet.  Finally Gary gave some sort of satisfactory answer and the moment passed……….but I was smiling broadly in the kitchen.  Way to go, Dad!!

On another day, Aaron zoomed into the kitchen there in Germany and asked, “Mom, is sex bad?”  Where on earth did that question come from?  So I told him no, that sex is not bad.  It was designed by God for married couples and it’s a good thing.  Later I heard Aaron happily telling Andrea, “Andrea, Mom said that SEXY is good!”  Uh, something got lost in the translation there and I knew that at some point I would need to clear that up.  Another day………..another conversation……….hopefully a long time off!

We’re thankful that Aaron doesn’t seem obsessed with sex or with girls.  That’s an issue that we would gladly not have to deal with considering his level of understanding and the complications that could arise from that.  Sometimes those conversations leave us a little uncomfortable but we try to be as honest as we can about the subject without being too blunt.

And then there are those nature shows……..that show everything, or almost, at times.  We were watching Wild Russia the other night and things started getting a little wild.  I was tickling Aaron’s back as we watched the elk and the mink and the wolves and the bears of this wild, forested area of The Urals in Russia.  It was beautiful and very interesting, and Aaron was fascinated. 

He became especially fascinated when a huge male bear began “horsing” around with a female bear, and the narrator began talking about how it was the time of year for the bears to mate.  I was eying the remote and wondering if I could “accidentally” change the channel behind Aaron’s back, when he suddenly blurted out, “Mom!  They’re not being SEXY, are they?”

And I stumbled around verbally, saying something about how they liked each other and it was nice to have each other………….and I don’t know what else I said.  Aaron continued, “Do those bears want to love each other?!”  I believe he really just couldn’t fathom that bears were capable of love like humans are, or at least that’s what I want to believe he really meant. 

Aaron wanted to know more about why they would love each other and I talked about them wanting little cute bear cubs and he just could NOT understand why they would want cubs…………except that cubs are really very cute.  The image on the screen changed and I breathed a huge sigh of relief as we watched the cute little baby mink playing together. 

I was just hoping that Aaron wouldn’t want to know about Papa Mink and Mama Mink, and birds and bees and stuff like that. 

I think I’ll look for Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy next time. 

Aaron had his visit to the dentist today to have a filling put in his tooth.  He has had strong teeth and very few fillings, so he wasn’t at all sure about what this would entail.  He’s been thinking a lot about it and asking questions, such as, “Mom, is he going to put a filling in me?”

Not in YOU, really – but in your tooth, Aaron.

“So is the filling like Play Doh?” 

If it was then I would just do it myself, Aaron.

So we set out today for his appointment, making time first for our usual Wal-Mart trip.  Our mission today was to buy Aaron a new pair of slippers – his are torn up and they weren’t even that old – and to look for a DVD.  He’s been wanting Little Mermaid, but I didn’t think it was out right now.  However, I knew that one way or the other we would leave Wal-Mart with a DVD in hand. 

Aaron began whistling when we walked in the store, and I told him to stop.  At least it wasn’t the fox whistle, which he has been known to do in the past.  He thought that particular whistle was a very fun whistle.  He had no idea of the impact it would have on the women in the aisle with him………..especially on me as I hurried to hush him up and then try to explain why he should NOT do the fox whistle in the middle of Wal-Mart…….or anywhere outside of our house! 

Therefore, I was thankful today for a more standard sort of whistle, but it was still annoying and attention-getting, which is why I told him to stop with the whistling.  He then proceeded to make popping noises with his mouth, like a cork popping out of a bottle.  Again, I told him to be quiet.  And again he responded, “Mom, isn’t that better than the farting noise?”  I guess I made the farting noise his standard of what-noise-not-to-make.  Aaron, just make NO noise, OK??!!

We finally left Wal-Mart with his new pair of slippers, the Battle for Los Angeles DVD (I told you!), and a wad of napkins that he grabbed from the deli to wrap around his thumb that was bleeding because he pulled the skin on it and now had blood on his once-clean pants.  And the afternoon had just begun.

We went to Taco Bell for lunch, where Aaron took a long time to read through all the combo meals in order to find what looked like the largest meal that I would allow him to have.  He settled on a meal #7, I believe it was (ask Aaron!) because it had the word “pizza” in it.  While I paid for our lunch, he was stuffing several sets of sporks and knives in his pocket because somehow he has to have several sets, not just one or two.  And he also grabbed enough napkins to hand out to everyone in the restaurant as well as all those in every car that was going through the drive-through.  He poured a very full cup of raspberry tea with no ice and I was thankful for the lid on top as we made our way to our booth.

We settled in and I asked the blessing, as I always do.  As soon as we both looked up, Aaron said (rather loudly), “Mom, I read in my Handy Answer Religion book that Catholics pray funny.  They don’t know how to pray.”   Oh.  My.  Goodness!   “AARON!”  I hissed.  “HUSH!!”  And he continued (a little bit quieter), “Well, they do this when they pray.”  And he made the sign of the cross.  Just because we do not make the sign of the cross and are not Catholics makes Aaron think that Catholics do not know how to pray correctly.  This isn’t the first time I’ve had to correct him about this concept and try to make him understand…………..but in the middle of Taco Bell with people watching is not the place that I want to have this conversation (rather loudly) with Aaron.  Maybe a fox whistle would have been better.

Thankfully, he got his mind on the modern art………..in a former blog I talked about Aaron’s opinion of this modern art hanging on the walls of Taco Bell.  And his opinion hasn’t changed one bit.  “Mom, the people who made this art know how, but they don’t know much of art.”  I tried to explain how the art can mean different things to different people, and we talked about what some of the pictures there looked like to us.  He then asked, “Mom, I wonder how they would make a picture of you?”  I was glad it was time to leave because I did not particularly want his opinion of that idea talked about (loudly) in the middle of Taco Bell.

We made it to the dentist’s office, which is right beside a Subway.  I was walking toward the office when Aaron said, ‘Mom!  Look!”  I turned to find him standing at the large Subway window, pointing.  Anyone in Subway would have wondered why this unusual young man was standing outside the window pointing at them. 

Aaron!  Come here!  “But Mom, look at this picture of a tuna sub.  The tuna sub looks all squishy!”  Sometimes I do wish he wasn’t so observant!

As we drove home through the country, we passed farmer’s fields and pastures.  Aaron observed, “Mom, there’s a mule in that horse field!”  He thought that this was very interesting and added, “I wonder why that mule is in the horse field?”  And then he rubbed his hands together as he said, “Or I guess you could say jackass.”  He was delighted that he got to say this word that’s almost-a-bad-word but not exactly a bad word, and thought that it was “quite funny.”  And I have to say that I laughed too……….because it was “quite funny.” 

And then, “Mom, if I’m allowed to eat again, can I have some popcorn?  Either homemade or cooked.” 

Homemade or cooked, huh?  Which is which and which do you want, Aaron?

“Well, cooked is the kind in the microwave, and homemade is in that thing you got that you pour the seeds in and it goes around and pops it.”   

And, “Mom, is Andrea going to come visit us again?”

Yes, Aaron, probably this weekend.   “You mean this Tuesday?”

No, Aaron, this weekend.   “You mean NEXT Tuesday.”

Since when is Tuesday a weekend?  We got that straightened out as we pulled into the driveway, and because I forgot to get the bags from Wal-Mart out of the van, Aaron decided that I was “quite weird.”  I will not say what crossed my mind at that point.

I’m sure Aaron will have lots to cover with Gary concerning his day, from new slippers to how Catholics pray to the………….uh………….mule in the horse field.  And IF I EVER let him eat again, I’m not sure it’ll be popcorn, homemade or cooked, until his tooth is stronger.  Those seeds are killers!

I just wanted to share a couple of interesting and funny descriptions that came from Aaron yesterday and today.  As he and I were taking Jackson on a walk around the circle yesterday, he said, “Mom, I really do think that Rosie likes me.”   Some of you will remember my blog “Aaron and Rosie” where I talked about their special friendship. 

I asked Aaron why he thinks that Rosie really likes him and he answered, “Well, at the theater on Friday a piece of popcorn seed fell down the wrong side of my throat and I coughed!  Rosie asked me if I was OK!”

Awww, that was sweet of Rosie……….but I was trying hard not to laugh at his comment of the popcorn seed falling down the wrong side of his throat! 

Then this morning he came in to the room while I was getting ready and said, “Mom, my ear hurts………..but not where the sound is.”

He then showed me that his outer ear had a red place on it from his headphones………….and the outer ear is not where the sound is!

Speaking Aaron’s language is fun!

It’s no secret that Aaron loves to eat.  One of his favorite foods is pasta……….noodles of any sort……..and macaroni in particular.  Problem is – he doesn’t care if they are cooked or not.  Yep, uncooked pasta is, for some reason, a favorite of his. 

We’ve told him time and again that he really needs to quit eating uncooked macaroni.  We’ve gone over how hard it must be on his stomach; how hard it must be on his teeth; and how hard it is on our nerves to hear the loud crunching that goes along with chowing down on “raw” macaroni.  None of this matters to Aaron…………..not one little bit. 

He continues to sneak in the kitchen whenever he has a macaroni urge and pour himself a nice bowl of noodles to munch on.  Since he knows that we disapprove and will take them away, he’s become adept at being sneaky about it.  If he gets by with putting the noodles in a bowl, then he’s likely to hide them in places………….. like under his blanket when he’s sitting in his favorite chair watching TV…………..beside the chair, out of sight…………..behind the little door in the end table…………..and I’ve even found bowls of noodles under his bed!  He’ll also wait to eat them when we’re not around so that we won’t hear the irritating crunching.

Today Gary and I walked in the house, and immediately Aaron said, “Mom!  Look!”  I told him to wait a minute while I put some things away, and he said, “No…..look.”  So I walked over to where he sat on the floor, cutting out my coupons, and he held this up:

There it was…………a very full bowl of uncooked macaroni.  I sighed.    Oh, Aaron.

And he quickly said, “I did not eat any because in my mind I did something wrong.” 

Well, how about that?  Of course, my skeptical mind is thinking…………..uh huh, Aaron, or did you just not know that we’d be home right now and you got caught?  I know Aaron, and so I wonder.

A few minutes later, as he followed me into the kitchen, he was still talking about his noble deed of handing over the bowl of macaroni.  “Mom, are you glad I used my mind in the right way?”

What could I say?  I told him of course I’m glad that he used his mind in the right way.  And again I smile and somewhat marvel at how he expresses himself.  He’s at times almost innocent-sounding, and refreshing in the way he verbalizes his feelings. 

Will he use his mind in the right way tomorrow?  Who knows?  Which is why I’ll still glance around his chair and look under his bed at some point for the forbidden uncooked noodles. 

I certainly can’t guarantee that tomorrow his mind will tell him the same thing it’s telling him today!

Sometimes I wonder if I write too often in this blog……..but I’m tellin’ ya…………..Aaron gives me more to write about than you can imagine.  If I put everything in here it would be never ending!  You probably think it already is.  Ha! 

Today was no exception.  He came home about 45 minutes ago and after greeting Jackson, I heard the familiar pounding of his steps on the stairs.  He could never surprise anybody – he doesn’t walk up the stairs, he stomps!  Into my bedroom he came, saying, “Mom! We went to the mall today!  The east one.” 

So familiar, his recounting of his days………yet somehow always different. 

He continued, “I got a Subway for lunch!  This time I got those purple onions……..except they call them red onions.”

Did you like them, Aaron?

“Well, they were hot!  I don’t think I’ll get them again.  And this time I noticed something I haven’t seen before to put on my sub.”    He paused for effect…………hoping I would ask what it was.

So I did.  What was it, Aaron?

“Pickles!!  And they were the same size as cucumber circles!!”

We’ve had many discussions about the origin of pickles, and he’s no stranger to pickles, but somehow today they merited this new excitement. 

So did you put pickles on your sub, Aaron?

“Yes.  And I’m not fond for pickles.” 

Ah……well, now you know.

“And I got extra cheese.  Is that all right?”    He knows that I don’t order him extra cheese because of calories and intestinal issues (sorry), so he knew it wasn’t really all right but he enjoys asking.  He and I both know full well that he’ll get the extra cheese next time, too.

“So Mom, that’s all I ate today.”   Another pause……….then……..”Well, we went to Sonic and I got a grape slushie.  I’m stuffed.  Can you imagine that?” 

“Oh, and when we got back to Paradigm, Cody gave me a box of Mike and Ikes.  Was that OK?”

Yes, Aaron.  And I’ve learned that when he tells me early on that such and such was all he ate, he means all he ate in round one.  Other rounds of his food fest are sure to follow.

And remember the Chinese massage?   “Mom!  I saw the guy at the Chinese massage place again.  This time I was hoping I’d say yes.” 

Oh Aaron………so your hopes were dashed again?

By this time he and I were in the kitchen, where I was getting ready to start supper.  We have tile on the kitchen floor and this obviously brought back a special memory to Aaron about his day in the east mall.

“Oh, Mom!  I was walking in the mall and I was looking down at the squares on the floor, like this.”   Whereupon he proceeded to look down at the tile and demonstrate walking while looking down at the squares on the floor.

“I was looking at the squares on the floor and I needed to go to the bathroom and I walked in the girl’s bathroom.” 

Silence.  I waited for the boom to be lowered……..the rest of the story to be told………..

Aaron, did you use the bathroom in there?

“No.  I looked up and noticed they didn’t have it the way they do in the boy’s bathroom.”

So if you were in the east mall today and were in the women’s restroom and a large, loud young man walked in looking at squares on the floor…………I hope that’s all he saw, were squares on the floor……….. I extend my sincerest apologies.

I told him, calmly, that he should pay attention to where he’s going.

“So you’re saying that I don’t need to look at the squares on the floor when I’m walking?”

Yes, Aaron……….and I’m quite certain that the women in the bathroom at the east mall would agree.