The Nightie

Aaron loves, loves, loves to shop…………as long as he’s getting to look at things that interest him.  That would primarily be DVDs and food.  Definitely not clothes.  Unless you count that one time that he and I went shopping at Wal-Mart – the time that’s burned into my memory.  He had gone to the DVDs (of course) while I looked at a few things, and then I went by the movie section to get him so we could pick up a few groceries.  We proceeded to walk down the very large aisle, headed for the grocery section, and my mind was on what items I needed to look for.  I didn’t even notice that Aaron was lagging behind. 

I remember that it was near Valentine’s Day.  I remember that there seemed to be lots of people in this particular area.  I remember seeing the sexy nighties that hung next to the aisle, on my right.  And then I remember hearing Aaron, large and loud Aaron, very largely and loudly yell, “MOM!!!!”  I turned around and there he stood, quite a ways from me, holding up a very sexy tiger-print nightie.  And he very largely and loudly said, “MOM!!  YOU NEED THIS!!”  I was frozen – except for my face, which was becoming very red and hot.  I was wishing for a sink hole at that moment, right under my feet. 

Then I saw the delight on Aaron’s face.  I mean, these nighties were very unusual for him and he’s always been curious about the unusual.  He had absolutely no idea that this would embarrass me.  Aaron really thought that it would be great if I got one of those nighties with the cool tiger print.  I can imagine that most of the people observing this scene were hoping that I would NOT buy it, but who cares?  I just smiled at Aaron, told him that I did not need it and to hang it up, and proceeded to go cool myself off in the frozen aisle.   Besides, I liked the red one with feathers better. 

Lessons From the Battered Plants

On Thursday evening we stood helplessly at our windows and watched as the hail fell and the wind blew ferociously. The hail wasn’t huge but was relentless and seemed to go on forever. When the storm was over I stepped outside and felt very disheartened at what I saw – leaves that had blown off of trees and plants were plastered everywhere; branches were snapped and smaller twigs were scattered all around; flowers were shredded; newly purchased hanging baskets were twisted and broken; our vegetable garden partly flattened and mangled. I didn’t even want to deal with it after weeks of planting, nurturing, and then beginning to see the fruits of our labor that we noticed even as we walked around the yard and garden minutes before the storm started.

Today I stepped out on the back patio, gathered the hanging baskets together, and started trimming the dying and drooping limbs. I then turned to the two flower beds in the back to do the same there. And I noticed something amazing. In the midst of the damage there was new growth. There among the pock-marked leaves and shredded blooms were new blooms waiting to open, new leaves unfurling, and bees buzzing about. Life!! And you know why? Because these plants were not uprooted. Their root systems were intact, receiving nourishment from underneath the ground as well as stability to remain standing. Sure, they bear the marks of the storm, and some look very tattered and worn. But there is growth; there is an anchor in the soil; there is hope.

How many times I’ve been battered by the storms of life! All of us have endured the sting of trials in so many areas of our lives. Many trials are prolonged and seem to never end. I’ve felt beaten, defeated, discouraged, scared, tired. But through it all I know in Whom I have believed. My roots are firm in the God Whom I trust. Jeremiah said it very well in Jeremiah 17:7-8: “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and whose trust is in the Lord. For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; But its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit.” I may bear the marks of the sufferings of this life but as I remain rooted in God my life can continue to grow, to prosper spiritually, to yield the peacable fruit of righeousness, to have peace and usefulness. I have hope as I anchor my roots in Christ – “This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and stedfast…..” Hebrews 6:19.

And so I pray that I will bear the marks of my trials and hardships to the glory of God. I pray that I will continue to grow, to bloom, and to bear fruit despite the scars that may mar my leaves. I pray that through the heat and fierceness of the storms to come I will remain rooted in the Lord with no fear or worry, being fed by Him, and looking forward to the sure and stedfast hope that He provides!


Do NOT Touch!

To enroll Aaron in the job skills school that he attended for two years involved weeks of testing through our local high school.  We had home schooled Aaron for 8 years and so there was the process of also enrolling him at Goddard High School so that they could refer him on to the special school.  Finally everything was done and Aaron was ready to go.  He hopped on the bus – his first bus! – and seemed completely at home.  I was a mess! 

The testing had taken longer than planned and so Aaron was a few days late in starting his new school.  On his first day, the staff assigned a student to be Aaron’s shadow all day.  She was to help Aaron learn the ropes and understand his new routine.  Ashley was a very nice girl, but Ashley was also very bossy.  Aaron doesn’t do bossy.  All day long, this is what Aaron was hearing:  “Aaron, don’t sit there.  Aaron, sit here.  Aaron, don’t pick up that pen.  Aaron, don’t put that in your pocket.  Aaron, put your notebook here.  Aaron, don’t go in that room.  Aaron, be quiet!  Aaron, don’t go outside.  Aaron, don’t eat that!”   As the day wore on, he was becoming more and more agitated until finally he started flicking Ashley on her arm with his finger and thumb.  Those little stinging reminders to Ashley were Aaron’s way of telling Ashley to please hush and leave him alone!  The school called me that afternoon, telling me the situation, and reminding me that what Aaron was doing was considered assault.  Assault?!  Oh my!  We had some work to do. 

That night as we ate supper, Gary and I asked Aaron all about his day.  He was not impressed with his experience, mostly because of his bossy shadow.  We tried to smooth the situation and then we told Aaron over and over during supper, “Aaron, tomorrow do NOT touch Ashley.”  All evening, at every opportunity, we reminded him, “Aaron, tomorrow do NOT touch Ashley.”  Before he left on the bus the next morning my parting words were, “Aaron, remember, do NOT touch Ashley.”  Amazingly, I didn’t receive a call from the school that day and so we were very hopeful.

We were anxious to hear all about Aaron’s day as we sat down to eat that night.  We didn’t want to harp on the negative and so we listened to Aaron describe the events of his day.  Finally, I asked the question – “Aaron, did you touch Ashley?”    He quickly answered, “No!………………….but I hit her with my notebook.”  Oh, my literal Aaron!  We didn’t tell him not to hit her with his notebook.  It’s hard to cover all the bases with such a black and white, literal thinker.  And so we had to change our instruction to, “Aaron, don’t touch Ashley with your hands or ANYTHING else!”  He and Ashley were never good friends.  Go figure. 


Aaron really doesn’t like being “bossed.” This morning he was on the verge of being grouchy – thankfully he leveled out and was fine. Anyway, I had to direct him a few times about what he needed to do and he commented that he didn’t like me bugging him. Later he wanted me to come downstairs and so he said, “Come on, Bugger!” I have to smile. He gives us names based on how he’s perceiving us at the time. Today I’m Bugger. Wait til Gary gets home and I have someone else to bug!

The Introduction

Sharing stories about Aaron is the best way to have insight into how Asperger’s Syndrome affects not only him, but all those who live and work with Aaron.  A key to surviving life with Aaron is to understand what makes him tick.  Then you can better function yourself and not live in constant frustration or bewilderment.  Training and directing him is also accomplished with better results when you can get inside his head and realize just how and when to redirect or when to wait it out. 

We moved to Wichita (Goddard), Kansas in 1999 when Gary retired from the military and accepted a job here.  A couple years later we enrolled Aaron in a school here that offers training to high functioning special needs students.  This training prepares them for being able to get a job upon graduation.  There were many great aspects of this school and its program, but it never was a good fit for Aaron.  One big reason is that the staff never understood him and so didn’t react correctly to what he said or did. 

I’ll never forget the open house and parent night during Aaron’s first year.  The students were to accompany their parents into each of their classrooms and introduce us to their teachers.  The students were treated as adults and so were to address each teacher by their first name.  The evening was going very well and Aaron was doing a great job.  It was nice to meet each teacher and to see his new environment that he was to be a part of now.  The evening was winding down and we had one more teacher to meet.  As we stood in the hallway, waiting for the family ahead of us to come out of the room, Aaron was beside himself with excitement.  When he’s excited he bends over and rubs his hands together, over and over.  He hadn’t acted this way with any of the other teachers and so we were perplexed at this behavior.  We tried to get him to calm down but to no avail.

Finally, the room was empty and we walked inside.  There stood his teacher, with a very pronounced spiked haircut.  Aaron quickly walked over to her, rubbing his hands together, and said, “Mom and Dad, this is Cindy (name changed).  She looks like a hedgehog, doesn’t she?!”   Oh.  My.  Goodness.  Time stood still.  We were horrified.  Aaron was delighted.  Cindy was unhappy.  Her reaction told us that things would not be easy for Aaron in this school.  Yes, Aaron needed to be corrected but not with disapproval or anger.  The battle stage was being set and Aaron will never give up.  It was a very long two years.  But Aaron did LOVE that haircut!