Love, With a Little Sad

Recently, Aaron has been listening to the Phantom of the Opera movie soundtrack.  He has seen the movie and heard the music before, especially listening to the CD over and over.  But time has gone by, and Aaron doesn’t remember what the story is about.

During lunch a couple days ago, as he asked questions and I told him the story, I realized once again the sadness wrapped up in the Phantom’s life.  I couldn’t hide it from Aaron if I was going to tell the story correctly.

“You know, Aaron,” I finally said, “it’s really in many ways a sad story.”

Aaron thought for a minute.

“You have to see it as love,” he said.  “Love with a little bit of sad.”

His comment blew me away.  I was legitimately speechless.

I’ve thought a lot about what Aaron said.  I realize that he, in those few words, so perfectly described our life with him.

This life of parenting a special needs child is not a cake walk.  Yet we know that what God has allowed in our life is for a reason…and God’s reasons are always good.  Maybe His reasoning doesn’t make sense all the time, but God is good in all that He does and allows.

Gary and I have choices to make every day as we parent Aaron.  Yet no matter what moments we face each day, we love Aaron fiercely.

What is our focus?  Is it love, or is it sad?

We can’t ignore the sad.  That would be denial.

We’re sad when Aaron has seizures.

Sad when sometimes those seizures cause serious injuries.

Sad when his seizure meds make him so sleepy and tired.

Sad when he must be poked with needles so often.

We’re sad when his behaviors break his own heart.

Sad that he still refuses to travel to meet his new nephew.

But wait.  I need to remember what Aaron said.

Love, with a little bit of sad.

We want our life to be lived with a major on love and a minor on sad.

Like the love we felt for him last night as we stood outside watching the beautiful lightning to the west, hearing the distant thunder along with Aaron’s deep happy chuckle.  

Seeing the love he has for animals of all sorts.

The way he takes huge delight in the unusual.

We love the joy he shows in sharing.

And the big smile he gives when I pick him up from his day group.

I love how he looked on the exam table at his last doctor’s visit, reading his UFO book that he couldn’t wait to show his doctor.

I love how he leans way over to listen to the music that comes out of the self-checkout register at Dillon’s, oblivious to all the stares.

I love his random love notes. 

 

And that he’s willing to take an occasional picture with Mom.

I love looking out the window and seeing this scene.

I love that behind every hard, frustrating, stressful, and sad moment…I can hold on to this fact – that God has given us our special Aaron to love and care for.

We have to see it as love…love with a little bit of sad.

Author: Patty hesaidwhatks

I'm Patty and I write about our adult son who has Epilepsy and Autism, who still lives with my husband and me, and who is a package full of many surprises and joys and challenges and TALK! Lots of talking, which creates laughter and some other reactions as well. I also write about how God shows Himself to me in everyday life.

52 thoughts on “Love, With a Little Sad”

  2. This is beautiful Patty. I so appreciate all the details and layers beneath the surface of your lives with Aaron. Thank so much. Your article on needless struggles comes out in our Sunshine Newsletter this coming Monday. I hope you like the slightly shortened form that fits our space. Have a blessed weekend. Because of the image quality, Rob ended up using a different photo he found somewhere for the lady cardinal.

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  3. Oh my goodness Patty. Did he really say those wise words? I about fell out of my chair. I love that fella! I also pray for him given the extra burdens he is tasked with in life. Thanks for this blog. Love you cuz.

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    1. I about fell out of the restaurant booth when he said this, Barbara. Haha! He sure does surprise us sometimes with his insights. I have a page on my phone’s OneNote so that when he says these things I can quickly write it down. If I don’t, I’ll forget his wording since it’s so unique. Thank you for your love and prayers. Right back at you, Cuz!

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  5. Ahhhh I love this Patty with tears of joy for you and Gary. Now I see and feel the whole lot of love my Father God has for me with all those years of having Bill here and Him giving us family. And now the sad experience of living alone. I like you, love the presence of Jesus, the Son and the Holy Spirit who lives inside me. And I love our Father has promised to never leave me or forsake me. Thank you for bringing these things to my heart and mind. A whole lot of love with a little bit of sadness. Thank you Aaron!!!
    The Holy Spirit continues to live in you to bring good tidings of joy to all who have ears to hear.

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    1. Thank you, dear Sharon. You do know what it’s like to live with lot of love and a little sadness. I know you miss Bill greatly but I also know that you are following the Lord and letting Him fill you with love and joy. Sending you lots of love today!

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  6. I totally agree with the folks above: this is a wonderful, poignant post, Patty I have a feeling many of us are going to remember Aaron’s comment, “love with a little bit of sad” It’s just the dose of wisdom we need sometimes!

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  8. I almost shed a tear Patty. Thank you for sharing Aaron and his perspective on life with us. I learn something new every time I read one of your articles. Thank you so much Patty 🤗

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  9. Love those wise words…love, with a little sad…we must choose to focus our perspective on the ups and not so much on the downs.
    Thanking God for using Aaron to teach us such a valuable treasure.

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  12. Aaron really has a unique way of looking at things, with wisdom, that is unexpected. “Love with a little bit of sad,” really sums it up. Oftentimes, life is bittersweet but the sweetness makes the bitter better. Blessings to you, Patty, Gary, and Aaron.

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    1. You’re right, Hazel. Aaron is so unique and his way of expressing his thoughts is so refreshing and sometimes very telling. He has no idea of the smiles and the wonder he brings us…among some other things. 🙂 Thanks for reading!

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  13. Once again your post has brought me to tears! Thank you for sharing such a special moment. These words will stay with me. Thanking the Lord today for you and your dear son. Hugs!

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  14. Although it brought tears to my eyes, it was exactly what I needed this morning. Sometimes it’s hard to get it through my head that God knows everything isn’t perfect but I must accept my life the way it is and major on the love, not the sad. “Love with a little sad.” How poignant! Blessings, Patty!

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      1. Thanks. After working with six Happiness Engineers, as they call their techs, I’m moving on. Rather read the Bible than waste time on technology. Hugs to you and Aaron.

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  16. Love, with a little bit of sad. That is awesome, Patty. Such insight, and a perfect picture of so much of what comes our way in life. Life can be tough – but it all comes wrapped in God’s love! Your posts, your life, and your Aaron are great inspirations. So encouraging!!

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    1. Many areas of how we handle life are really a matter of perspective, aren’t they? Keeping God’s perspective for sure. I lose that perspective lots of times but I’m so thankful for God’s grace and for these words of Aaron that will stay with me. Blessings, Beth!

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    1. Thank you so much, my friend. I’m doing well. Time zips by so quickly! I can’t fit everything into a day these days. I’m getting ready to go see our adorable grandson this coming week. Still not taking Aaron yet, but hopefully soon. How are you doing?

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