See My Hurt?

Aaron recently had a tooth that was hurting him so much that he asked me to hurry and call our dentist so he could look at it.  For Aaron to want to go to the dentist showed me that he was truly in pain.  Our dentist referred Aaron to our endodontist, who confirmed what the dentist thought…that Aaron’s tooth was probably cracked way down in the root, infected, and would need to be pulled. 

Aaron was fascinated to look at the x-ray that the endodontist showed him.  You could see all the dark areas of infection very clearly.  Dr. Turner explained to Aaron that this was why his tooth hurt so much. 

Our next appointment was with an oral surgeon, the same one who had removed Aaron’s back molar near this infected tooth.  That molar had fractured during a drop seizure when Aaron’s face had hit a cement floor.

At first Aaron was pensive and tired:

Then he became silly as we waited for the doctor (look at his watch! 😊):

Dr. Cole finally arrived and examined Aaron’s hurting tooth.  He put up the x-rays that were taken in his office a few minutes earlier.

Aaron’s eyes darted to the x-rays.  He studied them for a few seconds.

“Can you see my hurt?” he asked.

Dr. Cole was a little confused.  He said that he couldn’t exactly see the crack but that they knew it was there.

“But can you see my hurt?” Aaron asked again.

I knew what Aaron meant.  He wondered if Dr. Cole could see the dark area of infection that was visible on his other x-rays.  These looked different and Aaron was concerned that Dr. Cole couldn’t see his hurt. 

I explained to the doctor what Aaron meant and then he understood. 

But Aaron’s way of asking about his tooth…his hurt…was SO Aaron and so touching, somehow.

I’ve thought a lot about seeing hurt, not only as it relates to Aaron but to others all around us as well. 

One day last week when I picked him up at his day group, he had just had a seizure before I got there.  He was laying on a booth seat when he had the seizure and so he fell off the seat, onto the floor.  I went in and there he lay on the cement floor.  One of the very kind supervisors actually got on the floor with Aaron as we tried to wake him up.  It took awhile before Aaron was awake enough to get off the floor, but it took some doing to get out of that tight area.  Later that night, Aaron showed us a couple scuffed places on his back.  Thankfully that was the only evidence we saw of his seizure…that, and his bitten tongue.

That was a hurt I could see.  Him lying on the floor, having a difficult time communicating when he woke up, and then the areas on his back that hurt, were all visible to us.

But how many times does Aaron, or any of us, have hurts which others can’t see?

For me, I hurt when Aaron has seizures.  I hurt when he talks about wanting a girlfriend or wanting to get married. 

Or when his meds make him very sleepy, and I wish he wasn’t so drugged:

Yet those hurts are ones I don’t want Aaron to see and so I hide them as best I can from him, and even from others.

How about you?  Do you have hurts you hide from the world, or even from those closest to you?

I think we all do.  I know I do. 

Why do we hide our hurts?  Maybe we don’t want others to feel sorry for us.  Maybe we feel we must be strong in front of everyone.  Maybe we’re embarrassed.  Maybe we can’t bear to share the pain and hurt we feel so we try to bury it.

But there is One Who sees every hurt we carry…Who understands every pain we feel…Who is wanting us to turn to Him and let Him take and carry our burdens. 

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”  (Matthew 11:28)

Here is another way to say it:

“Come to Me, all who are beaten down and burdened down, and I will give you rest.”  (Matthew 11:28)

 I think of the old hymn, Tell It To Jesus:

Are you weary, are you heavy hearted?

Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus.

Are you grieving over joys departed?

Tell it to Jesus alone.

Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus,

He is a Friend that’s well known.

You’ve no other such a friend or brother,

Tell it to Jesus alone.

Do the tears flow down your cheeks unbidden?

Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus.

Have you sins that to men’s eyes are hidden?

Tell it to Jesus alone.

Do you fear the gathering clouds of sorrow?

Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus.

Are you anxious what shall be tomorrow?

Tell it to Jesus alone.

Are you troubled at the thought of dying?

Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus.

For Christ’s coming kingdom are you sighing?

Tell it to Jesus alone.

If we can’t share our hurt and burden with anyone else, we can still share it with Jesus.  But sharing our hurts with those we trust, those who will pray for and with us, is also a huge help in relieving our pain. 

There is way too much hurt today in this crazy world…way too many beaten and burdened down people.  I pray that I will look at everyone around me and wonder if they are saying, “Do you see my hurt?”

And even if I can’t see it, that I will be kind and loving to everyone, knowing that they may be carrying a huge hurt that I know nothing about.

May I see and love through the eyes of Jesus. 

And may I let that same Jesus carry my unseen hurts. 

Author: Patty hesaidwhatks

I'm Patty and I write about our adult son who has Epilepsy and Autism, who still lives with my husband and me, and who is a package full of many surprises and joys and challenges and TALK! Lots of talking, which creates laughter and some other reactions as well. I also write about how God shows Himself to me in everyday life.

42 thoughts on “See My Hurt?”

  1. Oh Patty I love this truth so much. I’ve shared this blog with a friend who I know is hurting, and read to my husband because we both have our own hurt. Thank you so much for your willingness to share your own hurt so we can all be brave enough to do the same. I hope Aaron’s hurt is getting better and you continue to see and feel God’s comfort on your own journey with Aaron. Amen. (FYI: two more chemo treatments for Danny. We are reaching the end of the ugliest part of our journey (11/12 is the last chemo treatment), then he will begin testing to learn what is next.))

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    1. My dear friend, I have been and will continue to pray for Danny and for you. I’m not the best at letting you know that. I’m thankful that you shared with me your hurt so I can help you carry it. And from the bottom of my heart, thank you for sharing mine. ❤️❤️

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  2. Oh Patty, this is so beautiful. I’m so sorry for all of Aaron’s hurts – and consequentially yours. And yes, I too have hidden hurts, as I’m sure we all do. But the beauty you bring out, is that God sees all our hurts, whether hidden or seen. And he bears the pain with us. He is so good – and sometimes that’s the only thing that brings us through!

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  3. Patty,This has so much truth…as a mother, I hurt for you, because i understand hoe deeply we carry our children’s pain. And I find comfort in the fact that our Heavenly Father feels our hurts and gives us comfort and peace. Thank you for sharing you heart.

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    1. Thank you, Judi. We mothers truly understand that heart we have that is at one moment so full of joy and the next so full of hurt. Thank you for reading and for sharing truth about where we find our true comfort. ❤️❤️

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  8. Pingback: See My Hurt? — He Said What?! – Jesusluvsall's Blog

  9. Thus brought some tears. What a touching question, “Can you see my hurt?” True. A lot of us are hurting and not all people can see but Jesus can. Even the ones we ourselves could hardly understand, Jesus sees them all and He heals our hurts.

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    1. Precious thoughts, Deborah. There really are so many deeply hurting people today. We can share with everyone possible how much Jesus loves them and sees their hurts. I know that I look at people and wonder sometimes what their lives are like. Maybe all I can do is smile at them but it’s a way I can show that I care. Thank you for reading and commenting.

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  10. Oh Patty this is so beautiful and poignant. I often dealt with my patients “hurt” as a psychiatrist. Very often even though a patient wanted me to see their hurt they had such a sense of shame that prevented them from revealing it to me. It would take many sessions working with them and gaining their trust in me, like peeling the layers of an onion. So many people whether in therapy or not have “hurt” and I learned that kindness towards every human being was so important. You never know what someone is dealing with and like Aaron they may not be able to describe their hurt in words that others would understand. The Bible passage that you quoted says it all. Thank you so much.

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    1. I’m sure your patients loved you, Barbara. We need doctors who truly care. I know this is who you are as a person, through and through. Thank you for that, and thank you for caring about all the hurting people around you. Love you!

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  13. I THINK THIS MIGHT BE YOUR BEST BLOG YET. IT IS SO TRUE AND SO COMFORTING AND HELPFUL.TO KNOW WE ARE NOT ALONE IN OUR PAIN AND TO REMIND US OUR SAVIOUR KNOWS AND CARES AND IS AN ADVOCATE FOR OUR PAIN AND PROBLEMS AND HEARTACHES. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS AND ALL OF AARON’S WONDERFUL WAYS OF COMMUNICATING

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  14. With all of his struggles and physical challenges Aaron asks questions or says things better than most of us who have hurt that is hidden from others. God bless you as you care for him and share with us.

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  15. My goodness, Patty, you and I touched different sides of the same topic this week: developing eyes that truly SEE. But you are so right: Even if we can’t see someone’s hurt, may we be kind and loving to everyone, knowing that they may be carrying a huge hurt that we know nothing about. I think that’s a prayer God will delight to answer!

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  16. Beautiful and deep words Patty!! I just read on another blog post where the question was asked “how is your heart?” instead of asking others “how are you doing?” I love the idea of asking “how is your heart?” because it helps get to the core of feelings and shows care and concern for others. I pray we’d listen to God as He gives opportunities for us to take the time to care about others’ hurts—those seen and unseen.

    This post so reminded me of my brother and life with him. Jeffrey often asks about when he’ll get married, etc and just shared with mom and I that if he’d go to college it’d probably be for “kindness.” 😅❤️He doesn’t realize that he already knows more about kindness than many ever will…his innocence breaks and blesses my heart—just like with Aaron. The hurt I feel for them is bittersweet as it points to empathy for others and trust in Jesus.

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    1. I love the idea of asking a person about how their heart is. There are times that this would be such a powerful question to ask. I think everyone today is hurting, maybe more than ever.

      And Jeffrey – oh, how he and Aaron break our hearts sometimes. Aaron has been talking about marriage and having a girlfriend for such a long time, and even more lately for some reason. In fact, I intend to write about it as soon as I have time. Sure does tug at my heart for him when he wants that special relationship. Sometimes I wonder what Aaron will be like in heaven. Won’t Aaron and Jeffrey be amazing?

      Take care, Alicia. Love and hugs!

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      1. They sure will!! ❤️And the marriage thing warms my heart because surely it’s from them seeing what has been modeled to them. You and your husband have set a beautiful example and Aaron sees that and I believe the same over Jeffrey with my parents when my dad was still living. It’s such a neat thing really.❤️ But on the other hand it’s hard that this won’t be a part of their story…I’m thinking of some of the many men in Bible history who did so well being single and glorifying and serving God because of that reality. These guys point us to Jesus for sure!

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  17. It is so hard as a mom to see our children hurting, even when they become adults. May the Lord give you grace as you go through these hard times.
    This is so true:
    “sharing our hurts with those we trust, those who will pray for and with us, is also a huge help”. I think one problem a lot of people have is that they don’t know who they can trust. And if they also don’t know or believe that God loves them and cares about them, their burden will be even heavier. May the Lord help us to have discernment and to see others from His point of view.

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