Aaron has always called us a variety of names, some nice and some not-so-nice. No amount of lecturing, fussing, or instruction has made him change that practice. Sometimes his name calling shows us the mood that he is in, or the way that he is feeling. Take this morning…..
Aaron walked into the kitchen. It was early and he had already talked to me upstairs after he got out of bed. He was mellow and in a good mood, so when he walked into the kitchen he said, “Hi Sweetie.” That was it. He didn’t add anything sarcastic, which I expected but was relieved not to hear. So I returned his greeting by calling him sweetie, and again I awaited a less-than-flattering response. However, he didn’t say another word. Later, when I went into his room to get his glasses for cleaning, I said, “I’m just getting your glasses, sweetie.” I still expected something negative from him, but he was still quiet. That was nice. He and I were still sweeties.
When it was time for him to turn off his computer, I walked in his room again to tell him so. He was quiet, but he didn’t turn it off. Finally, after a couple reminders he finally turned it off. He wasn’t really happy, though, because he knew I was a little frustrated…..and because he doesn’t like to be hurried. As he got in the van, I asked him if he had closed the family room doors.
“Yes, Bossy,” he replied. Uh-huh. He really was frustrated at being told to hurry, and then being reminded about the doors. I had gone from being “sweetie” to being “bossy.”
As we drove to Paradigm, I reminded him to tell Barb that he wouldn’t be there on Monday due to a doctor appointment. “Ok, Master,” he answered. So now I was master. The one in charge, who was reminding Aaron of something he needed to do. An annoying Master, at that. His tone was not exactly loving.
Later, as we pulled up in front of Paradigm, he asked me if I could come in. I had errands to run and Aaron had already made me a little late, so I reminded him of that as I told him that I couldn’t go in with him this morning. I knew he was disappointed at this, but did he tell me that? No! Did he convey in words his wish that I could come in? No again!
Instead, as he got out of the van and I said good-bye, he responded with, “Good-bye, my Ugliness.”
He shut the door before I could respond. Hey! Now you’re getting personal, Aaron! Which is exactly what he wanted to do. He wanted to get personal so that I would feel as bad about the name I was called as he felt about the fact that I wouldn’t go inside Paradigm with him. As strange as it seems, and as inappropriate as it is, I know that this is Aaron’s way of conveying how he is feeling. I’ll talk to him about it when he comes home, like I have many other times, knowing that he will not likely change that way he has of communicating.
So I guess that this morning I was a woman of many personalities. I went from Sweetie, to Bossy, to Master, to my Ugliness. I’m getting confused!
One more thing – Aaron doesn’t like it when I make my voice sound different or funny. It almost always irritates him. Sometimes even just a mild inflection from me, or maybe talking a little softer or louder, makes him comment….and it’s rarely complimentary, as you can see from his name calling.
One morning he came in the kitchen and I asked him if he wanted some coffee. I told him that I had made fresh coffee. I don’t quite know what it was, but something about my voice made him irritated that morning. He told me not to say it like that….whatever “that” was…..so I just ignored him and went ahead with pouring his coffee. But he wasn’t done.
“I’m gonna tell Barb that you speak in strange voices sometimes!” he declared.
So I have multiple personalities and speak in strange voices, to hear Aaron tell it. Things are far worse around here than we let on, I guess.
My Ugliness? Where’s my mirror?!